okay

*sigh*
its almost 3 years now...
its almost 8 years now...
its got me thinking will i be a fool that waits for dbsk another year?
what about the year after that?
and after that?

as of now i think 'definetly'

but...

i do feel the fatigue that many older Cassiopeia felt and do feel now...

the tiredness...

i love you...
i need you...
i long to be with you...
i long for you to be together...
i long for what once was...
i long for what i hope will be...

will i wait forever?

as of now 'definetly' is still what i will say but

my heart...

everyone has doubts...

we have our weaker days and stronger days...

but i dont think that such days will render my faith from them...

i hope and pray for their happiness...

please be happy...

_______________

on another note
Yunjae yunjae yunjae ive been into them alot lately again so much and dbsk5 like i said b4

then my bdays coming up like i said and yeah the biggest thing i hope to get is JYJ in heaven CD...
i want to go to new york and go to TVXQ concert! TT^TT

*sob sob*

oh yeah

Jaejoongs protect the boss is over he did a good job

then something else recently KBS stated that JYJ's song 'Pierriot' is unsuited for radio because it mentions Lee Su Man...

okay the lyrics are DEFINETLY AIMED AT SM AND THE HORRIBLE COMPANY AND LSM

BUT

how can they interpret certain words to mean lsm? 

like jaejoong responded 'its all how people interpret the song' or something to that effect.

i mean 'your truly a psm'

i never understood those lyrics but psm doesnt necessarily mean 'president su man'

they never gave JYJ any chance to explain what it means plus even of psm means 'president su man' korea is a free country and stuff right?!

it should STILL be allowed to be broadcasted!!!!!

what bs is this?!

but then i realized this isnt the 1st time korean govt stood up against free minds.  i mean hellooo? Epik high much?

anyways thats all i really have to say and its late so yeah whatever im done

i'm in a Yunjae AKTF5 mood TT^TT

its been a while since ive been this depressed about Yunjae and AKTF5

i think its because of In Heaven and Tone...

and the Yunjae in heaven music video! i srsly felt like CRYING after watching that! TT^TT

DBSK please come back please please PLEASE!  atleast before you go to the army for two years! come back for atleast a while PLEASE! TT^TT

i feel so bad srsly

i keep thinking about how if Yunho died Jaejoong will die and then Yoochun leaving Junsu and Changmin for a while until finally Junsu dies leaving Changmin all alone and then he just gives in and dies too! omg! wtf is srong with me! then after that there will be a mass suicide of Cassiopeia! TT^TT

This cannot happen!  You guys CANNOT die like this!!!! i wont allow it! DO YOU HEAR ME?! i WONT! ...TT^TT

im not even making sense! i should be happy right now since JYJ and Homin are promoting and all these AKTF rumors the AKTF fortunetellings and all that happening right now but...

I want Yunjae right NOW! i cant help it! its like Yunjaes a drug and i cant stop! i want them to be happy and together and i want DBSK to be happy and together and i want them to smile on the stage where they belong and watching us Cassiopeia, not crying of joy, but laughing and having fun together...

srsly the first DBSK reunion concert ALL of Casssiopeia will cry with joy.  I will personally CRY just thinking about it right now!  I cant even describe how much i love them and hope for them!

I hurt so bad!

but its been so long since ive last felt like this

i was just starting to think i was okay with the split 'im happy as long as theyre happy'

but its true that 'how can they be happy if what makes them the most happy is to be together?'

TT^TT

the truth is in both sides you can FEEL that they miss each other.  Maybe if you've never felt their hearts together, never heard them sing their hearts out together, never watched their old videos of them together, never knew what they, the 5, have been through as members of DBSK together for so long, working so hard together, maybe if you've never promised in your heart that you want to be there for them when they fall, that you promised in your heart every time you heard DBSK say 'forever' that you WOULD be there forever for them, if you haven't been through all that then MAYBE you wouldnt be able to understand my feelings or the feelings of Cassiopeia who YEARN for their return.

THEY are EVERYTHING

i cant stop these feelings flowing out of me, the thought of them being unhappy, and me helpless to do anything!

My final thoughts are , 'be happy be happy'

You better be happy!

i wanted to do a sane report about stuff but... my feelings about this are more important right now so who cares about all that stuff... well BE HAPPY

I will keep on living knowing that these 5 have the courage to also keep on living and moving step by step everyday no matter how difficult the road is.

heechuuul

the suju booys! aaah! i love them and gosh Heechul-ah! i KNOW its not such a big deal or whatever but DANG i will miss you!!! things like 'i will come back a changed man' or whatever i dont want that! i want heechul!!! HEECHUL that doesnt change! i just.... i know people and things change but i dont want the to i want heechul to always be this way i dont want him to change!

thats just...

im scared!

but no matter what i love you heechul-ah! your heart for suju and dbsk! your heart for knowing whats right and wrong! SARANGHAE! I LOVE YOU!

at the very start i really didnt like you but now i SEE you are so YOU.  You are someone so SPECIAL. 

Heechul-aaahhhh!!! work hard! we love you! and im not even an ELF but I WILL WAIT FOR YOU! for my suju boys and my dbsk boys ill wait...

I Prom15e To 13elieve and Always Keep The Faith!

love you guys! really... omg heechul -ah! i love you and your like twice my age... lol love you guys