Realization

yeah if you havent noticed from my last post this has been going through my head for the last few days

theres jyjs pov

homins pov

and cassiopeias pov

jyj i knew their pov from the start

they want to do what they want, they want to be stars for a very long time, sing on stage forever and ever, they want to never leave

i think thats y subconciously i was on jyjs side

because im a cassie that wants all 5 to be on stage forever and ever and jyj want that too and i pushed homin away as if to say 'i cant believe you dont want this, i cant believe you' i rly blamed them somewhere in my heart and it hurt so much every time i looked at them i felt this betrayal but

after i watched some of their interviews its pretty apparent

these 2

they dont want forever anymore

they dont want anymore than they already have

they just want to finish up being stars so they can somehow live normal lives and raise their own families

yunhos message to his future wife

other than the majorly yunjae parts that ill just ignore till later

he said he will only be with the person he loves AFTER hes done with this line of work

i kept repeating that over and over in my head like an idiot

AFTER?  theres going to be an AFTER?

what happened to TVXQ/DBSK being forever?

then i thought about it

maybe they rly dont want that

changmin has already said that if he could do his life all over he would pick to be a normal person and live a normal life

i always understood that about changmin but yunho...

hes changed since they've 1st debuted

remember when he was so young... he had so many ambitions... 1 was to be a director...

but now it seems like hes forgotten those things and is persuing something different

he wants a family

he wants to be with the person he rly loves

with all those yunjae hints i hope its jae but thats for later

he wants to start a family and i think as of now thats what he truly wishes for

so isnt it my own selfishness to deny him something that would make him most happy?

if thats what makes him most happy then what?  i have to let him... let THEM go right?

cause its changmin and yunho who want this... (and maybe they would steal jaejoong away too?) 

i think i kinda realized this but didnt want to admit it...

im so sad...

i realize now every1 in this fandom is just being selfish, even our stars (which i do believe the 5 of them are finally being selfish, and doing things for themselves so its a good thing but for us fans its a bad thing cause we love them so much and we are so confused)

JYJ's selfishness - they know homin want nothing more, they know that if they stay they will have those last few great hits before SME pushes them aside and lets them fade, they know its hard on changmin and yunho that they dont want to leave SME and have the second half of their stardom to be scarred by SME being evil to them, but JYJ leave anyways because they want to do whats best for themselves and their careers, to carry on and to live and survive as stars, they left.

Homin's selfishness - They realize they've told us and every1 forever, but what they truly want are families of their own.  that normal life with the one they love.  they dont want the forever anymore.  they just want to keep going and then fade and then live normal lives.  They knew JYJ want the forever, they knew if they left with JYJ then there would be the forever, but thats not what they want anymore.  They stay because its the easiest way.  They stay because they dont want their last half of their stardom to be blocked, they just want to do the normal things like promote etc, and go out as shining stars always remembered as legends.

as a cassie my selfish thoughts would be "How could you?  Why are you leaving us?  Why cant you stay with us?  Why can't you be stars and have your happy ending at the same time?  Liars.  You said forever."

thats so selfish though right? 

they actually... this time they actually chose what they want

what they RLY want 1st

they chose what was best for THEMSELVES

and what was best for themelves wasnt the same as what was best for the group...

i think though

somehow if its possible...

if homin actually change their minds

somehow...

i hope dbsk can be together again

hold a concert, the hugest live world tour ever...

please

dbsk

my life

even though i know this i still want to believe they will be as 5 again

somehow


_____

ok onto yunho hints to jaejoong in that to his wife thingy

it felt so obvious

someone you knew but after your debut that person would be a star and it would be difficult on that person...

then hes all 'my other half' and i though 'oh yunjae always say that ;_; im delusional'

then hes all 'lets celebrate your next bday together' and i was all 'omg remeber jaes sisters report about jae getting drunk on his bday and how he repeatedly asked for yunho but he wasnt there? omo such a yunjae thing im so delusional'

then he talks about wanting to see the person again soon and i literally was like 'God yunhos dropping alot of yunjae hints!'

so yeah im 90% sure that letter was intentionally for jaejoong but who knows rly?

like WHY KNOWS RLY?!

so yeah

i still believe yunjae but...

i kinda think jaejoong would never want to live a 'normal life' he wants to be on stage forever... then i think what about if it means being with yunho?  would he pick yunho instead of us?  i want to think 'pick us pick us!' but rly now... he would be truly happy with yunho right?

i dont want to admit... losing jaejoong would be like...

my heart feels torn out!

gosh!

but srsly SRSLY now

yunho kept repeating how he cant be with the person he likes because it would be difficult for that person

and he said he cant be with another person because he would feel bad for the person he likes

so yeah so yunjae


then i remember jaes interview from a while back

remember he was drinking because the interview was 'drinking truth' or something and the person asked how many relationships he'd been in since the debut of dbsk and he answered 4 and they were all celebs?  then his staff went kinda crazy like maybe jae shouldnt have revealed that?

knowing jaejoong  he probably meant his 4 dbsk members... cause yknow hes like that...

idk thats what i think neways

hes always teasing us like that :P

but neways even with the situation the way it is now yunjae is so legit it hurts


yunnie dont steal jae away for yourself, you all could be stars together and live happy lives as our stars that we cassies can always watch and protect

we miss 5 so much

so selfish i know but still...

dbsk boys whatever you do

i will always watch and wait and be a thoughtful cassie for you! <33333