Saturday, December 15, 2012

gah i'm ridiculous!

you know what i just realized?

Jack Frost starts with 'Ja'
and
Yue starts with 'Yu'
its YJ
just like Yunjae
just like JJ's cats names are
Jiji and Yoyo
the YJ pairing is like symbolic
and i picked 'Yue' because i thought it sounded nice but subconciously made it YJ because i thought it sounded nice
OTZ even this momentary Jack Frost obsession is pulled by my Yunjae sympathies!
and to make it worse i knew ppl were saying Jack looked like Jae but didn't realize i was making fanfiction that in my head was just like Yunjae were stepping into Jack and Yue's shoes and being them
I imagined Yue to look like Yunho and Jack to look like Jae oh my god and i didnt even realize it! ugh!
my OTP will rule me forever apparently
and im okay with this OTL

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Dear Tumblr,

please come baaaack :( auuugh i just CANT UGH! LIVE! AHHUUUHGHHHHHH! i think i have internet addiction, tumblr addiction... i can't do anything ugh asdfkasjdgksd
i want you back please! TT^TT

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Jack Frost meets The Man in the Moon

Warning! NC-17
Jack Frost x The Man in the Moon


The Man in the Moon watched as Jack glided through the forest, the wind carrying him gracefully.  He could hear Jack laughing to himself as he froze over a lake.  The Man in the Moon smiled as he watched Jack landed on the lake, skating around with ease. 
Jacks silvery white hair rushed through the wind so beautifully.  This boy was kind and innocent, he was happy and joyful.  He had done a good job choosing Jack as a guardian.  The Man in the moon continued to watch him every night without fail.  He mooned over his own handicraft in creating Jack’s physical appearance, his white clean hair, his blue crystal snowflake eyes, his blue sweater with icicles, his light fair skin, and his ice cold touch. While admiring these traits he began to love not only his own handiwork but became even more in awe of Jacks inner self.  He had known Jack was good and kind, but Jack was so much more selfless and giving, so much stronger than even he himself could have ever imagined.
The Man in the Moon found that his admiration had grown beyond the boundaries, the constrictions of what was just admiration, and had become love.
Jack finally stopped skating for a second, and looked down at the ice, taking The Man in the Moon out of his thoughts.  Jack was looking at something on the ice but he couldn’t tell what it was.  Jack turned around and looked up at him and the Man in the Moon gasped because Jack had the most breathtaking smile on.  Jack had noticed the reflection of the moon in the ice and had stopped to admire it, admiring HIM.
The moon was round and bright, full and there was not a single cloud in the night sky to cover it.
“Man in the Moon” Jack whispered.  Jacks voice sent a thrill through him. “You’re really handsome tonight… I wish you would talk to me… I wish that I could hear your voice… see your human face.  You were once a human too, right?  I wish you were here, I mean standing right here.  I have so many questions I want to ask and so many things I wish to say… like… like ‘thank you’… I want to say a lot but I’m afraid you can’t hear me, or you’re not listening… even now… I wish I could see your form so I know I’m not just here by myself” Jack sighed dismay in his voice, that smile quickly turning into one of dismay.
The Man in the Moons heart was shaken, that just a simple plea from this young boy, that of about 300 years old, could stir such deep emotion in such an old soul, was hard for even himself to believe.
The man in the moon took a deep breath, steeling himself, he didn’t know how long ago it was that he had been back on earth in his human form.  Truthfully he was frightened.  How would he look?  The same as when he had first become the moon?  Had his features changed since last time he saw them? He thought this but he really didn’t even remember what he looked like.  He wanted to ease the boy but he was afraid also.  He was always able to watch and didn’t have to participate.  The man in the Moon asked himself if he even remembered how to speak.  What did his voice sound like? The more The Man in the Moon pondered this the more afraid he grew.  True, he was powerful, but that power had made him isolated.
It was too late to think all his worries through though, Jack Frosts sad face was enough to crush his heart, and so he shone his light on Jack.  Surprised by the sudden brightness Jack took a step back from the glowing light that fell shining in a beam down in front of him.
His image was already taking form within the light, wisping the light particles together in a swirl of motion.  Jack stood stunned, his breathless at what was happening right before his eyes.
The light revealed a glowing outline first, a tall well built body, at least a head taller than Jack, lean waist, and a broad shoulders.  Then details began to conjure, a white top hat covering his face with a matching suit, gloves and shoes, and a gentlemanly straight posture.  Then details began to take form, Jack could see the gold lining on his hat, suit and gloves, he could see the small twinkle that shinned off them beautifully, as if those linings were golden glitter.
Finally The Man in the Moon lifted his head, slowly, uncovering his face from his hat, revealing a shy smile.  Jack gasped as The Man in the Moon revealed his eyes, a shining pale yellow, his skin practically glowing white porcelain, his blond hair was cropped short yet outlined his beautiful yet masculine features, high cheekbones, adams apple on his long neck, he looked to be only in his early twenties.  He was a sight to be seen.
The Man in the Moon asked, “How do you do?” when Jack continued to stare at him.  His voice was deep and musical.  He didn’t know what kind of reaction to expect, he had never taken human form since the first time he was changed into the moon, meaning no one had ever seen The Man in the Moons human form before, and so he had no other people to measure Jacks reaction to.
“M-Man in the Moon?” Jack whispered still shocked.  He had been calling The Man in the Moon ever since he had become Jack Frost, he could not believe his wishes were answered.
“Yes, that’s me, but I prefer to be called Yue” He frowned “Is there something wrong?” he looked at his hands, then took off his hat and rubbed his hair, it was a mess of shining pale gold, that still fell perfectly after The Man in the Moon stopped playing with it.
Yue was about to put his hat back on when Jack slid closer and stopped his hand.  He froze, he hadn’t had any form of contact in anyone ever since he had become the moon.
“Wait,” Jack told him, looking down at where Jacks hand lay on his arm, stopping him from putting on the hat.  Jacks eyes snaked up his shoulder, to his neck, his lips, every feature, until their eyes met.
The Man in the Moon was nervous as the boy looked him over, but never before had he felt such a surge of energy as when Jack was looking at him straight in the eyes.  Jacks blue crystal eyes that seemed so pure and clean, especially now that Jack was basked in the light of his moon beam.
Jack had a serious face as he peered into The Man in the Moons eyes, they fascinated him, looking closely he could see that they weren’t just normal pale yellow eyes, but just like the gold in his suit, or the strands of his hair, Yue’s eyes held glittering wisps of lights in constant motion.
“Can i…” Jack started as his other hand roamed up Yue’s chest towards his face, feeling his cheek, as if to make sure that Yue’s perfect white skin wasn’t fake.  Jacks ice cold touch sending pleasurable shivers down Yue’s back.   
Jack smirked, thinking that it was the coldness of his hand that caused Yue to shiver “Sorry about that”, he began to take his hand away when Yue shook his head and held the hand in place. 
“No, I like it” He smiled at the boy who blushed.
A little embarrassed Jack looked away from Yue “S-stupid… you show up now of all times…”
The Man in the Moon smiled “I’m sorry I made you wait” He wrapped his strong arms around the boy and leaned his head down and pressed their foreheads together, forcing Jack Frost to lock gazes with him once more.
Jack grasped Yue’s arm and the back of his neck, as he was slightly lifted from the ground, “W-what are you doing?  Let go of me, you’re going to freeze you know…”
Yue laughed, causing Jack to blush even redder “What?!”
“Don’t worry about me” Yue said “I feel warmer when I’m touching you”
Yue, craned his neck down engulfing Jack in a deep kiss.
“MMNnn…” Jack’s voice came out, surprised.
He was breathless as he found himself underneath Yue, splayed out on the icy lake, covered in his bright beam of moonlight, the predicament making him hot inside, like he had never felt before.
Yue had dropped his hat and was now taking off his gloves.
“W-what… are we doing?” Jack moaned involuntarily as Yue’s warm hands swept underneath his shirt, lifting it up over his head with ease and started pinching his nipples.
The Man in the Moon could not stop now, seeing Jack so cute and vulnerable, so unlike how he had ever seen him before.  Yue leaned down and sucked hard on Jacks neck.
“AUuww! Yue!” Jack shouted in a mix of pain and pleasure.
One hand snaked down to Jacks lower regions, unzipping the skinny jeans and palming Jacks growing erection.
“Yue!” Jack whimpered, tears forming in his eyes “S-stop…”
“You don’t want to?” Yue frowned.
Jack shook his head and reached up to kiss The Man in the Moon deeply “I want…” He began to unbutton Yue’s jacket, and shirt, letting his body language fill in his words.  Yue helped him and took it off smiling again.
Yue managed to pull the rest of Jacks clothes off and admired the boy for a moment before moving in and leaving another hickey on his neck, while now pumping the boys erect length with his hand.  Jack moaned into Yue’s kiss, arching off the ice and clenching his fists into The Man in the Moons hair.
Jacks legs wrapped around Yue’s waist thrusting into Yue’s hand.  Yue released the breathless Jack Frost from his kiss and filled Jacks mouth with two fingers.
“MMmm” Jack moaned as he sucked and Yue pressed down in his tongue.  Yue shivered, imagining Jacks lips around his hardness.
Yue took his fingers out and brought them down to Jacks entrance, thrusting his index finger in first.
“AAH!” Jack shouted, his ice cold fingernails now digging into Yue’s back.  Yue kissed him roughly, exploring Jacks mouth with his tongue and continued to cater to the boys weeping length as he thrust his finger into him.
Tears streamed down Jacks face, as Yue entered another finger, stretching the boy using a scissoring motion within him.
Jack was not quiet, he cried out as Yue tried to calm him and assure him with his slow soft touch and distracting messy kisses.
Finally, Yue pulled his fingers out of Jack and pulled his length out of his constricting pants, pumping himself until he was ready.  Jack watched him nervously, tears in his eyes and red in the face, but with no rejection, waiting for Yue to invade him.
Yue positioned himself and thrust into Jack Frost, Yue went in inch by inch until he was fully inside Jack, Jack whimpered biting his lip, feeling so full because of Yue’s hot warmth within him.  Jack was also still tight around Yue even after Yue so thoroughly prepared him.
  “I’m going to move now” Yue said kissing Jack as Jack nodded.
Yue pulled out and thrusted hard, and suddenly Jack felt it, an amazing surge of pleasure.  He could not contain himself, as he arched high and craned his neck back, “AUH!  Yue! AGAIN!” He commanded, and Yue did just that, seeing that he wasn’t hurting the boy, he began thrusting harder and faster making Jack Frost see stars.
“AH YUE! OH GOD HARDER!” Jack shouted needily.
Yue chuckled and kissed him enjoying the vibration of Jacks shouts in his mouth and on his tongue.
Yue held Jacks hips in place and started going deeper and slower teasing the now completely wonton boy.
“YUE!” he moaned as he was slowly being filled “AUmmm, Yue please…”
Yue smirked.  He doesn’t think Jack has ever said please in his life.
“Please?” Yue’s voice made Jack visibly shiver.
Jack opened his eyes and managed to look annoyed annoyed yet embarrassed “Just fuck me harder, FASTER!” He tightened himself around his partner.
Yue complied thrusting hard causing Jack to tightly close his eyes once more from the pleasure coursing through his body.
“Yue!” Jack cried out thowing his head back against the ice as he came hard all over their abdomens, followed quickly by Yue as Yue thrust his cum in him grunting one last push.
“Yue…” Jack Frost sighed, hugging Yue’s body to his, loving the feeling of the mans large arms around him, his large hands caressing his body and the feeling if him inside him.
Yue and Jack exchanged a glance and Jack frowned at the sad look in Yue’s eyes.
“What’s wrong?”  he asked.
Yue smiled sadly, it looks like it’s my time to go.
Jack saw Yue look off to the distance and now he could tell the sun was rising.
Jack held him firmly, “No!  Don’t go!  I don’t want you to go! What if you never come back to me… like this… human form” Jack said, the sorrow in his eyes was immense “I don’t want to wait another 300 years!”
“I can only take this form during a full moon, when there is no clouds to block my light” Yue said sadly “but Jack I am here always watching over you.  We will see each other again.”
Yue bent down and kissed Jack one more time before he faded away, disappearing with the sunrise growing more and more prominent.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Jaejoong (turned into a DB5K rant post)

words cannot describe how much i love Jaejoong okay?
just no
augh i really love him
Twitter!
@bornfreeonekiss
i was so confused at first
but he created this RIGHT AFTER the lawsuit ended so of course
'born free' like born again, now he has more freedom
and then 'one kiss' like one kiss goodbye

well at least thats what i interpret it as

anyways JJ of JYJ had me thinking too
and i do agree with everyone i've seen JJ of JYJ is also JYJ from TVXQ

I'm having overwhelming Jaejoong and DB5K feelings
srsly
Junsu aaugh his interview made me want to fall over on the floor and cry because it was so perfect and ot5
then Yoochun has been making me have so many feelings in 'Missing You' and Magic castle! UGH!
and then theres also the injustice towards Yunho and Changmin!
WHY didn't SM let them go to MAMA awards?!
obviously it was because they wanted EXO to have all the spotlight
its not that im hating or anything on the bands okay? but its so obvious!
anyways Yunho and Changmin are working really hard and gahhh they make me worried!
They dance in extreme pouring rain like it's an everyday thing!
gah! it's winter too!
I hope they don't get sick!!!!!
DX

but yeah everyone is giving me too many feelings! i just can't contain them!!!!!

Monday, November 5, 2012

Jaejoong

I have no idea why i feel so bad

this can't be because of Jaejoong losing his voice
this is probably a creation of my own

anyways maybe venting about Jaejoong will help me feel better
I hope it does
______

Jaejoong
makes me feel like i'm not alone.
The way he is... i don't even know how to describe this feeling
like when he's standing, even when he's surrounded by a million people, he seems alone
he stands alone
he has his own world
even when everyone is watching him there is something about him
the air around him is different than anyone elses
it's somehow an air of melancholy, a bit sad, i get drawn in easily to him
I always wonder what he's going to do next, how he will react to this and that
for some reason it always seems new and intriguing
like i didn't expect him to do this or that
but i'm never surprised at being surprised at him anymore
when it comes to interviews or anything
only for him will i look carefully enough
because Jaejoong drops little hints of this and that
of how he's feeling and what not
little hints that you can overlook if your not careful enough to pay close attention
I wonder if he knows what stresses me out about him?
I really like him
Jaejoong
why?
i always always ask myself why?
Why Jaejoong why?
and i never give myself a concrete answer
because i like him for the tiniest things
his small reactions
his little hint comments
that say so much
like the amount of emotion in his voice when he sings
and the small glint in his eyes
the different smiles that grace his lips
the way he stands, leaning this way or that
I don't even know
If someone asked me 'why do you like Jaejoong?'
all i could say would be 'because he is Jaejoong, i like him because he is Jaejoong'
there is something there
more than his amazing voice
and beautiful features
more than his funny comments
more than the characters he acts as
more than that
but DEEPER
there is something DEEPER that draws me to him
i don't even understand this myself

but like at the fan meeting in Indonesia

the way he looked

he was sick and tired and could not speak

but he didn't show it

he was glowing
he smiled, not his normal huge smile, but smiles that seemed private, for each of his fans
he didn't look sad, he kept a very straight face
he didn't want to show everyone that he was hurt
he gave wholeheartedly to the fans at this fan meeting
and smiled small little private smiles to each of them
and that warms my heart even more

because it makes me think

he hasn't changed

the Kim Jaejoong from a long time ago
the one who had a stony face
he made sure to smile for the fans too
they are the same person
even Kim Jaejoong
who used to have a hard time expressing himself to his fans
gave a little smile for his fans
it reminded me of a Jaejoong from a long time ago

Even though it's hard for him to express his feelings for his fans
he gives to them wholeheartedly
even though he can't express it as well as he wishes
he conveys it with the smallest smile
with gestures of kindness and understanding towards the fans who love him

just the smallest things

the smallest things make me love him

there is something about Jaejoong
he always seems alone somehow
when he's not with his members
even if we all flock around him and tell him we are with him
there is that small thing in his eyes that is different
even though his heart is the same
Jaejoong has always given me that feeling of loneliness
that makes me really want to give him my hand and tell him that so many people love him
and i know he knows this but
i still feel like i need to be here for him
and watch over him
and love him

This aura may be just a part of him
but it makes me feel like he needs love
what he needs
more than anything is love
and i want to give it to him wholeheartedly just as he has given it to us
even with small gestures
i want to show him that Cassiopeia is with him
even if he already knows
i want him to feel a little bit less lonely
a little bit more loved

Jaejoong why do i like you?
you make me feel like i'm not the only one who feels alone sometimes

you love us more than we deserve to be loved

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

DBSK One Harmony

If god is real
I have no doubt that he created these 5 boys to complete each other.
I don't understand
I will never truly understand these feelings
but i know that i FELT it

The first time they appeared in front of us
They fit so well together
even if it was a little bit awkward
only at the very beginning

because they were so different from each other

but it's amazing
its SO amazing
how well they fit together
how they just mesh
how they masked each others flaws

they were perfect together.

The way Yoochun
is so emotional
is so soft hearted
he kept DBSK rooted to their emotions
that Yoochun would cry
it was like he cried tears that were for all of them
he showed the other boys that it was okay to be sad
that it was okay to show emotion
that they would support each other always

The way Jaejoong
is opposite of his appearance
showing that looks aren't always what they seem
the way he opens his heart to is members
the way that he seems to want to hold tight
so tightly to the bond of the 5 of them
even when they were together
always holding so tight
as if to say
'they are my members
my family'

The way Changmin
even though he was a shy boy once
a boy who seemed to shrink into himself
he became a strong support for the members
our rock
he keeps everyone grounded
he's got a good head on his shoulders
that brain that is the best at school and at Japanese
that brain that is logical and realistic
he made sure everyone didn't go overboard
he always acted responsibly even though he was the youngest
he is a great maknae
a dongseng to be proud of

The way Yunho
took charge
through and through
our leader
if Yoochun and Jaejoong were the floating
if Changmin was the rock
Yunho was the one who made them go the same pace
pushed them to work together
encouraged fiercely
He carried a burden that was large
making sure that DBSK was working together
making sure everything was okay
Yunho bearing the burden of being the leader
Yunho who embodies what a leader should be

The way Junsu
smiles
the way he smiles
oh that smile that can light up a room
that attitude that would change the atmosphere in an instant
because of Junsu they were reminded
even in the toughest times
to smile
to laugh
to joke
to be young
because of Junsus optomism
DBSK could be a happier group
if Yoochun and Jaejoong are being emotional
if Changmin and Yunho are being serious
Junsu could change the atmosphere
and bring everyone together in that way
Junsu
with that smile that is so important

 They worked together

they FIT
it was like music
beautiful music
when they were together
they got into a rhythm
a natural rhythm
when they were 5 there was beautiful music

their body language
bounced off each other
like musical notes
creating harmony

when you saw them
they exchanged hugs, smiles
even when they exchanged glances
there was a language

a peaceful language
a strange and wonderful language
and when you saw it
it wasn't like you were imposing on their secret world
but as if they were inviting you into their world
their world full of that comfort

They shared comfort together
but also with us
and suddenly its like your in on the secrets of their world
and this music they create
this harmony
is so precious and important

you realize that maybe some things ARE meant to be
maybe
just maybe
they were put here to show
you
me
us
that there IS meaning
in this dark life

there is light
there is kindness
there is friendship
there is true love
there is hope
there is something MORE
you feel it so DEEP

that when you realize that you won't be able to see this perfect harmony anymore
it hurts
it hurts deep in the bones
your whole body aches
it hurts
it hurts because you HOPED
you FELT something
you BELIEVED in something
that there WAS something

and you plead with yourself
that that something is still there
IS still there
please let it still be there

and you wonder how you lived before this
without ever feeling these feelings
believing
in all of it
but you don't ever regret

NEVER
not ONCE
is there regret for loving them
not once
do you ever think you want to go back and take back
the times you smiled with them
laughed with them
felt warm in your chest because of them
felt embarrassed because of them
cried with them
cried because of them

not ONCE do you regret still loving them now
still loving the 5 of them NOW
not ONCE
do you think back and think that this was all a waste

because you KNOW that DBSK have taught you so much
so much as a human being
they have taught me so much
and i would never
take back the time i spent on them

because i believe that the time they spent together MEANT something
that the time i spent loving them MEANT something
that the time i spend loving them MEANS something
that all of us OT5 Cassies will one day
smile upon the 5 of them

and SEE
and HEAR
and FEEL
the music between them again
the beautiful harmony
that only the 5 of them could create

and then they will smile at us
the smiles that invite us into their world
the smiles that say everything without words

the smile that is for Cassiopeia

____

If god is real
he created DBSK
for the lost souls

so we could see
there can be real harmony between people

for people who needed something
and they didn't even know it


They gave me faith
not only in DBSK but in LIFE
for people like me who were losing their faith in humanity




Saturday, October 20, 2012

jaejoong on TVXQ still existing

After Tonight Show Recording, staff asked JJ how he feels that the fans shouted YH. JJ answered he was happy that when came to Thailand, fans still talked about the other two which made 3 of them believed that TVXQ still existed.
cr.parimpim bia 6286IF5ive (via reiichun)



...CRYING jaejoong do you feel like ppl think that tv5xq is nonexistent? oh poor babies ;_;