...daaang

SME is feeling so much heat right now
every1's mad
Suju are mad and ELFs are mad because SME fail to alert them about prerecorded performances
now if it was different like
if Suju werent going on haitus next year
and
if Suju wasnt such a big fandom that SME should watch over
and
if Suju wasn't going through such a hard time still after all these years
now becoming hyungs
now out of all times should be respected and watched over by SME
because they are
kind
loyal
and
amazing
guys

then i would say they were overreacting but seeing that they are all of these things SME is a real bitch

i cant believe the incopetence of SME

always

to Super Junior

really

its too much

and i feel so bad for all of them

Leetuk who had to ask the other fans to sing along
Siwon actually wrote 'damn it' in his tweet
Hyukjae and Donghaes tweets too
everyone telling SME to eat shit


dang

SME
they are never going to learn

_____

uugh

i sympathize with them

i feel their pain

every1 is frustrated too

F(x) have no fan name
SHINee fans keep complaining about when they are coming back in Korea
Cassies are being Cassies (what else is there to say about this)
I dont know them well but i know TRAX and The Grace are amazing and i DO want them around too so SME needs to stop hiding them ;-_-

everything is just messed up

especially thinking about EXO debuting really soon

like tomorrow?

uuuugh

i like them

i give up

i dont want to like them

but i like them

SME has a new 'best group'

im jealous

im mad

i cant stand DBSK NOT being SMEs favorite boyband

but

whatever

i realize i shouldnt care

i shouldnt care if they are SME's favorite group or not

whatever

i hope homin will leave

i hope Suju will leave

i hope they all leave


i fear for all of them

i really love them

i dont want them to hurt

they are too good

too good

SME let them go

I hope they can be happy

and do what they want

someday

they will be free

my last words are

'SMTOWN!  I LOVE YOU!'

<3

omg

kim jong il died N Koreas dictator. 

When i heard this morning the 1st thing i thought was

"What does that mean for South Korea?!"

apparently his sons going to be the dictator and South Korea's militarys on high alert

oh god

im not even scared for myself

im scared for my oppas

please please PLEASE dont bomb South Korea

PLEASE dont start a war

PLEASE!

then to South Korea

Please keep your regulations fo rthe military as is

PLEASE

2 years is long enough

30 years old is old enough!

im most afraid of them dropping the requirements to like 25 or making them be in the army longer!

;_;

And what if they need all men to be trained as soldiers and our kpop boys cant get by on community service?

no

not them

i dont want them to do that

please

PLEASE

PLEASE

not my boys

they would be changed forever...

please please please

i'll pray for them every night

please be okay boys

please be okay!

just wanna put this out there

Jaejoong going to army (around 30)

Yunho Going to the army (around 30)

they're both around the same age so yknow around the same time they should be going

then yunhos moms all "if yunho doesnt get married by 30 then ill give him to jae"

and yunho said he wants to get married at age 32!

of course cause they'll both be in the army when they're 30! ^^

____

on another note yunho wants to get married and live a normal life and raise a son (or kids or whatever)

but that means at 32 he wants to live a normal life? your not going to comeback?

you AND jae?

noo ;_;

...

but they'll be happy

so if they're happy then i'll be okay in the end

jaejoong-ah...

apparently back in september he already got called to enlist and in october he went and got an extension to august 2012...

noooo its coming!

i dont know how i'll live when he's gone for two years!

its not fair im finally getting only enough t go out and see him!

for realz i can get a job and get money to see him! TT^TT

but hes gonna be gone during my prime! 18-19 year old life and when i see him again hes going to be 32 and im going to be 20!

i want to see him! i want to see him!

TT^TT

i dont want him to go! nono nonoonnononononono!

dont take him! dont take him! TT^TT

i cnat even imagine him bald... aaah DX

dont cut that perfect hair! nonononononononono!

;_;

its coming its coming its coming...

OKAAAAYYY!!!!!!!

dlskjf;aksdjhg as hdglaksh aiwu hgskdj falks

OKAY i just worked forever on a freaking math hw project that isnt even due till NEXT monday and not THIS monday (which is tomorrow) so FML!

anyways

i still have hw but god i need to get away from it for a second... ;>.>


omg Super Junior is helping me numb my DBSK angst as of now because truthfully i love suju but i am so emotionally unattached to their songs that i feel GREAT!

now everytime i hear a DBSK song i go into emoshinki mode

srsly maybe every song

the sad songs are like FML cry my eyes freaking out everytime

the happy songs are just as bad as the sad songs! maybe even freaking WORSE!

like every time i hear 'love in the ice' i get all angsty and crazy

but

i can barely listen to 'balloons' at all ever since i saw that fancam of yunho and.... TT^TT

even 'summer dream' that song... homin... they rly...

and 'proud'

even the songs they never sang as five live like 'toki wo tomete'...

uuuugh

that is why every DBSK song... EVERY ONE i feel like emotionally trashed right now!

thats why right now

these upbeat whatever suju songs are really hitting the spot right now

as long as i dont think about sad things with their group (which i usually dont unless its intentional) then im okay

but right now i cant even listen to english sad songs or love songs without thinking about DBSK and ranting about them in my head!

really even thinking about it right now HURTS REALLY BAD!

UUUUGHHHH!!!

_____

on another note

i went to go watch breaking dawn

one of the things that frustrate me about the movies is that i really dont like robert pattinson or kristin steward or however you spell her name.  He is NOT handsome enough OR talented enough to play a perfect flawless vampire and she is not even talented enough to play a doorstop let alone a human being.

but i did something in my mind that made the movie 3x as enjoyable

i imagined that edward was Jaejoong XD

dang every time i saw robert and thought 'ew ew ew wth hes supposed to be a vampire but look he has a pimple and wrinkles and hes so ugly, hes only slightly lighter than bella and bella is just as 'flawless (not!)' as he is they look the freaking same! shes already freaking pale! ugh!' i calmed myself down and imagined it as Jaejoong and it made me so much happier!  Jaejoong saying this or doing that ooh XD

so then i was all hmm i rly hate kristin too but yunjae would be weird... (and i definetly wanted jae to be the vampire) so i thought of a girl i dont think i would ever hate and picked Jessica Jung

dang

i never thought Jaesica would be this sexy

i dont rly approve but for this movie... I APPROVE! XD

SEXY!

anyways i want to watch that new snow white movie coming out too but god!  why does kristin steward have to star in that 1 2!  her staring in it just ruins it! like i was watching the preview and was all 'dang this is really good!' and i was 100% going to watch it but then 'BAM' you see that kristin is snow white. 

i was like... shes not even prettier than the 'queen' coming after her ;>.>

whatever... the movie looked so GOOD though! except for her! but now my chances of seeing it became 50% cause i really dont like her.

her acting really just sucks too much.

but maybe if i go ill imagine her as jessica again?

or maybe ill imagine her as Jaejoong and the man coming after him and eventually falling in love with him will be Yunho? XD

i really want to write a fanfic about that now! KYAA! XD

but idk who the queen should be.  Heechul? Jessica?

i think Heechul and Siwon should be in it somehow and instead of the 7 dwarfs maybe ill have chunnie, minnie and susu be the 3 cuties that take jae in? XD

aahh i will definetly write it!

hopefully i can add a sexy rain and donghae and my bias kyuhyun maybe somehow find a way to fit sungminnie in somewhere? lol

ooh having hangeng in it would be cool too!! XD

aahhh idk i have alot of essays i need to write ;_;

i should be writing one right now...

uuugh


YOSH!


back to homework!

i feel better now! ^^

ill let myself start on the story if and only if i start my history study guide and figure out what im going to write about for english!!!

uuugh

byby

Realization

yeah if you havent noticed from my last post this has been going through my head for the last few days

theres jyjs pov

homins pov

and cassiopeias pov

jyj i knew their pov from the start

they want to do what they want, they want to be stars for a very long time, sing on stage forever and ever, they want to never leave

i think thats y subconciously i was on jyjs side

because im a cassie that wants all 5 to be on stage forever and ever and jyj want that too and i pushed homin away as if to say 'i cant believe you dont want this, i cant believe you' i rly blamed them somewhere in my heart and it hurt so much every time i looked at them i felt this betrayal but

after i watched some of their interviews its pretty apparent

these 2

they dont want forever anymore

they dont want anymore than they already have

they just want to finish up being stars so they can somehow live normal lives and raise their own families

yunhos message to his future wife

other than the majorly yunjae parts that ill just ignore till later

he said he will only be with the person he loves AFTER hes done with this line of work

i kept repeating that over and over in my head like an idiot

AFTER?  theres going to be an AFTER?

what happened to TVXQ/DBSK being forever?

then i thought about it

maybe they rly dont want that

changmin has already said that if he could do his life all over he would pick to be a normal person and live a normal life

i always understood that about changmin but yunho...

hes changed since they've 1st debuted

remember when he was so young... he had so many ambitions... 1 was to be a director...

but now it seems like hes forgotten those things and is persuing something different

he wants a family

he wants to be with the person he rly loves

with all those yunjae hints i hope its jae but thats for later

he wants to start a family and i think as of now thats what he truly wishes for

so isnt it my own selfishness to deny him something that would make him most happy?

if thats what makes him most happy then what?  i have to let him... let THEM go right?

cause its changmin and yunho who want this... (and maybe they would steal jaejoong away too?) 

i think i kinda realized this but didnt want to admit it...

im so sad...

i realize now every1 in this fandom is just being selfish, even our stars (which i do believe the 5 of them are finally being selfish, and doing things for themselves so its a good thing but for us fans its a bad thing cause we love them so much and we are so confused)

JYJ's selfishness - they know homin want nothing more, they know that if they stay they will have those last few great hits before SME pushes them aside and lets them fade, they know its hard on changmin and yunho that they dont want to leave SME and have the second half of their stardom to be scarred by SME being evil to them, but JYJ leave anyways because they want to do whats best for themselves and their careers, to carry on and to live and survive as stars, they left.

Homin's selfishness - They realize they've told us and every1 forever, but what they truly want are families of their own.  that normal life with the one they love.  they dont want the forever anymore.  they just want to keep going and then fade and then live normal lives.  They knew JYJ want the forever, they knew if they left with JYJ then there would be the forever, but thats not what they want anymore.  They stay because its the easiest way.  They stay because they dont want their last half of their stardom to be blocked, they just want to do the normal things like promote etc, and go out as shining stars always remembered as legends.

as a cassie my selfish thoughts would be "How could you?  Why are you leaving us?  Why cant you stay with us?  Why can't you be stars and have your happy ending at the same time?  Liars.  You said forever."

thats so selfish though right? 

they actually... this time they actually chose what they want

what they RLY want 1st

they chose what was best for THEMSELVES

and what was best for themelves wasnt the same as what was best for the group...

i think though

somehow if its possible...

if homin actually change their minds

somehow...

i hope dbsk can be together again

hold a concert, the hugest live world tour ever...

please

dbsk

my life

even though i know this i still want to believe they will be as 5 again

somehow


_____

ok onto yunho hints to jaejoong in that to his wife thingy

it felt so obvious

someone you knew but after your debut that person would be a star and it would be difficult on that person...

then hes all 'my other half' and i though 'oh yunjae always say that ;_; im delusional'

then hes all 'lets celebrate your next bday together' and i was all 'omg remeber jaes sisters report about jae getting drunk on his bday and how he repeatedly asked for yunho but he wasnt there? omo such a yunjae thing im so delusional'

then he talks about wanting to see the person again soon and i literally was like 'God yunhos dropping alot of yunjae hints!'

so yeah im 90% sure that letter was intentionally for jaejoong but who knows rly?

like WHY KNOWS RLY?!

so yeah

i still believe yunjae but...

i kinda think jaejoong would never want to live a 'normal life' he wants to be on stage forever... then i think what about if it means being with yunho?  would he pick yunho instead of us?  i want to think 'pick us pick us!' but rly now... he would be truly happy with yunho right?

i dont want to admit... losing jaejoong would be like...

my heart feels torn out!

gosh!

but srsly SRSLY now

yunho kept repeating how he cant be with the person he likes because it would be difficult for that person

and he said he cant be with another person because he would feel bad for the person he likes

so yeah so yunjae


then i remember jaes interview from a while back

remember he was drinking because the interview was 'drinking truth' or something and the person asked how many relationships he'd been in since the debut of dbsk and he answered 4 and they were all celebs?  then his staff went kinda crazy like maybe jae shouldnt have revealed that?

knowing jaejoong  he probably meant his 4 dbsk members... cause yknow hes like that...

idk thats what i think neways

hes always teasing us like that :P

but neways even with the situation the way it is now yunjae is so legit it hurts


yunnie dont steal jae away for yourself, you all could be stars together and live happy lives as our stars that we cassies can always watch and protect

we miss 5 so much

so selfish i know but still...

dbsk boys whatever you do

i will always watch and wait and be a thoughtful cassie for you! <33333

Yunnie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUqg1WEUFN4&feature=related

hes rly a good guy ne?

i couldnt help but think of jaejoong after watching this...

TT^TT

but even if its not jaejoong (and im saying there is a possibility its not)

yunho...

i realized 1 more thing thats different between jyj and homin

jyj cant live without performing and singing and acting

while homin... i think they want the stardom then they want to fall out of stardom and just live normal lives with their wives....

jyj... i dont think they feel that way... jyj want to live on the stage, its not that they dont want families of their own its just that... music is always the most important thing for them...

: /

...

i hope he was talking about jaejoong though

the situation sounds like jaejoong...

i hope yunjae can be happy some day TT^TT

goodnight

gahh! TT^TT

im going crazy!

before the voting started i was all "its okay if suju win.  cassies wife cassies best friend.  theyre going on haitus soon.  ELFs are rly trying to help them win."

i was actually planning on helping them and voting for them...

but once the voting actually started i automatically clicked TVXQ!

i saw they were losing and clicked them because... because... idk! because im Cassiopeia and i want to vote for TVXQ!

but sujus still winning even though i vote for TVXQ everyday!

i keep voting thinking "win win win!"

but what happened to my thoughts before?! so horrible!

gosh!

then i get slightly frustrated that we arent winning but then i have to calm myself down!

Suju are trying SO HARD to help suju win this 1! Suju are going on haitus soon and they want to give this last win to their boys! 

They want to show SM that suju are worth bringing back and that this haitus will not be an indefinite haitus because suju are worth keeping around!

My TVXQ boys win SO MUCH they have won this award many times before!

why cant i just help suju?

WHY?!

i keep asking myself that and the answer is

no matter how much i love suju i love DBSK more

im so sorry boys!!! TT^TT

Yunho and changmin havent won mama on their own yet!  We feel like we need to show off their abilities, that they can actually make it as a duo, that they are good enough!

even though im an aktf fan i feel this way too and i cant help but click homin every single time!

i wish my heart could vote suju cause i FEEL like they deserve it but my heart moves my hand to pick TVXQ!

its like im struggling with myself!

its so contraditory when in my mind i think

"i hope suju win.  but my hand votes TVXQ!"

grrr....

i know i sound like an idiot!

but i rly love the miracle of the purple line ;_; ... i cant help but feel like im betraying our love

________

then theres the other voting for GDA...

i didnt think twice about voting only for JYJ

gawd i feel like a horrible cassie today! TT^TT

the ranks are Suju, TVXQ, then JYJ

before i even opened the voting thing i knew i was going to vote JYJ

the reason?

Jaejoongs my bias and i hate SME

gawd i feel horrible though!

TVXQ are so close to winning but i want to vote JYJ!

"JYJ win! win win!"

thats what i thought!

gawd i hate myself!

the saddest thing for me was looking at the number of votes

Suju had about 9 thousand

DBSK about 8 thousand

JYJ about 7 thousand


i thought

if only dbsk were together we would have about 15 thousand votes

then it would be like before

things would be like before

DBSK would win like they always do...

i would be so happy

then i thought of the suju boys

im sorry is all i can think at this point

my love for even 1 of my DBSK boys is bigger than the love that i have for suju as a whole

im sorry

this is why i dont claim the CassieELF fandom

:'(

Suju i hope you win or else i hope JYJ win

im sorry homin

and im still voting for Homin and JYJ

Im such a pitiful human being

dont get me wrong i love you ELFs....

ELFs must feel so betrayed when some Cassies side with Sones

ELFs we're sorry we do love you

....

TT^TT

ahhh

i feel stressed or sick or cloudy or something idk what it is

i just realized though im so frustrated and not happy

im only happy when something involves dbsk

...

is that sad?

:(

i need to go have fun and stop doing hw for 2 second

or maybe just sleep?

maybe take a day off school?

not this week though! im so busy this week! DX

gaah stressed stressed stressed

ok ok ok

taking my mind off myself

shinee

i heard they were being rude?

i hope not

they probably dont know japanese manners well enough :(

like its more polite in japan to eat loudly but in korea its more polite to eat quietly

they look so sad and tired

please be okay shinee boys!

i feel sad cause i think shawols are suddenly seeing the sad reality the boys have to live in and coming out of their perfect shinee world...

then on fb i ranted all about sme and elfs and sones  fighting on kpopsecrets.tumblr.com but i dont feel like adding that on here rright now so ill add it on the next 1

neways tablo i know your too good for yg and so do you.  your just waiting for epik high right?  your talent is bigger than any large company like yg can handle.  yg knows they snagged 1 of the brightest jewels.  tablo props to you.  keep doing what your doing i love ya.

thats about it.

i found some dbsk stuff i havent watched yet

stuff from all the way back on 2004/5...

they were so young and innocent

not knowing what was to come and just pushing through all the difficulties so that they could reach the top

i love them so

these boys i love them soooo much

aktf

im tired

going to sleep

please let my mind be clear and not like this tomorrow

dbsk i love you

idk what to say

oh yeah dbsk and smtown were awesome in ny and jyj were awesome in spain! <3

just awesome!

and just so i remember hyukjae and kyuhyun both went to europe while jyj were there! they so secretly met up!

i want to rant but im tired right now...

i love you dbsk!

i just found another cassie that i know!

i didnt know she liked dbsk actually! surprised me! but im so happy! ^^

dbsk fighting forever!!!! <3

happy late bday to me

yaay junsus soccer team won on my bday! that makes me extremely happy! and he looks so good! <3

then i had this whole lsm rant but i wrote it on kpopsecrets.tumblr.com so its lost somewhere there...

then yeah

well basically a rant about my life would be:

im in a club at school that im supposed to get a job for but i cant get a job and im all depressed

but at the back of my head i know im not trying that hard because really all i want to do with my time is dbsk waste it

...*sigh* my driving sucks too

so basically i hate my life and yeah

dbsk help me get my mind off it and relieves my stress and fills my heart

but gooooooosh

i dont wannnaaaaaaa liiiiiive liiiiiife

i wannaaa stay on the computer and dbsk hunt/stalk

i wannaa go to dbsk concerts and scream for them

i wanna sleep and have fun like a kid does

i dont wanna grow up

isnt it too harsh?

if the point to living is to be happy

cant we live our lives the way we want to?

i know that wont work its just my selfishness talking...


when we die we r just a spec in time arent we?

*sigh*

i wonder sometimes

why is it that i even live on?

i think the reason every1 lives is because of selfishness.

if you live dont you take up food and take up energy and supplies and space?

but its out of your own selfishness that you keep living on

your own selfishness

so something you could do as a favor to the whole universe is to kill yourself rly...

but yeah im to selfish to do that and so is the rest of the living world

anyways what i also thought about was

would i take a pill that would intantly and painlessly kill me?

really i had to think about it

sometimes i think i would

if you really think about it none of this stuff matters or even MEANS anything

nothing does


the only thing keeping me alive really is knowing that there are ppl like dbsk that im waiting to meet

also that there are people out there with the courage and selfishness to live on


but really every1 is living for themselves arent they?

well thats what i feel

except for when dbsk come in

thats whats weird

i think if i hadnt become a Cassiopeia maybe i really WOULD have turned out to be one of those ppl who just up and out of the blue killes themself?

just because i felt like it

because i see i rly am insignificant and i rly DONT matter

okay

nothing you or anyone else says will change this because its a fact

i dont want to hear 'you are a big part of this and that' 'you are so important' etc.  in reality im not

your not

no one is

you and i are just specs in this spec of a planet and it wouldnt matter


so whats keeping me alive again?

well if you do want to know its my selfishness because i realize i AM selfish

i WILL eat the food in my fridge without a second thought to the hobo outside or the starving kids in africa

i WILL sleep in my warm blanket even though i know there are people freezing out there on the streets

i WILL take up space in this over populated world

and i realize

'hey ive been given this life in america where things are alot better than other places.  ive been blessed with this spec of a life.  even though im suffering its great isnt it? wonderful even.  might as well live what ive got.  it makes no difference to the universe if i kill myself today or die after 100 years.  it would be boring if i died like a saint selfless coward.  i would rather live a fun and sinful life.

thats what i think anyways

atleast right now.

usually i think the opposite way but
...

life really gets you down sometimes doesnt it?

all i can do is darkly snicker and say 'i can live'

today is a happy freaking day!

1st off idc if its a false rumor or whatever but the thought if yunho saying 'i miss junsu and yoochun but i especially miss jaejoong.' is enough to make me cry and want to shout to the world AKTF!!!

then homin practicing to DBSK 5 version of maximum! omg crying! so good! wtf?! ill never look at that song the same way again! maximum was supposed to be the 5s comeback and kyhd was supposed to be yunhos solo at 1st!  thats y theres a 'yunho time' and not a 'changmin time'.

then its JYJ's 'unforgettable live tour'! and Jaejoong being Jaejoong decides he wants to sing some of Stand By You.  omg such a brave move! im so moved right now srsly i wanna cry!!

next is something Yunjae related k?

the question was:

what would you say when your proposing to someone (or something)

Yunho: I will protect you

aaah jaejoongs soong XD

idc if im being delusional i am so freaking happy

my ot5 is real

crying tears of idk

happiness that they do actually miss each other?
sadness that they arent together right now?
the love that they share which is so beautiful and moving?

god

AKTF

today i am happy

DBSK is forever home to yunho changmin junsu jaejoong and yoochun.

DBSK is forever loved and watched over by Cassiopeia

my last words tonight are

'thank you for allowing me to share in, even a little bit, of the love you guys have for each other and Cassiopeia. 
thank you for allowing me to ride this rollercoaster with you. 
i feel honored that i can see these faces, even if they are on a computer screen, and smile with a genuine smile, because i love you guys and i believe in you guys. 
until the very end.'

*sigh*

i had a dream i met Jonghyun and me being me all i did was tell him 'oh Jonghyun!  your amazing at singing!  your great!  really great!' and in my dream he could speak english and he was all being modest like 'oh really? thank you!' so friendly and all that! i had a really light hearted feeling when talking to him X)

anyways jaejoong! i hope you really get to see yunho at the poseidon after party!
http://kimjaejung.tumblr.com/post/11351261501/our-lights-director-has-gone-to-work-on-kbs

this basically sums up everything i want to say about that!

idk like i always say jaejoong is smarter than we think he is hes all devious like hes all challenging sm but he knows if yunho shows up he wins cause he gets to see yunho but if yunho doesnt show up he still wins because every1 will know that smes not letting him go. im glad im on jaejoongs side haha XD i say hes all smart and devious but i still love him. he makes up for every1 elses passiveness and seems to be always doing something new

but he never steps a foot out of place. idk its like yknow code gease and positioning the troops in the right places at the right time to win? like chess. like that i think jae always has an upper hand and its amusing. smes money is like adding a pawn after its been killed but jae and every1 that keeps supporting jaes gives him their pieces and together they're all fighting sme until smes becomes all out of pawns... hopefully soon cause sme's being rly pathetic

i like when other artists totally support jyj, or actors/actresses, or ahjummas, or ojis, my favorite are politicians and journalists XD

^^^ i wrote this to my friend to so yeah i vented out my feelings about that pretty well



anyways jyjs in europe right now and homin are wherever dream concerts being held right? fighting! <33333

i wish i was there with u guys!

but i am forever there with u in spirit!

oh and our wonderful mochi henry babyyyy~! his birthday was october 11! ^^ stay strong henry lau!! im supporting you! :) one day all your hard work will pay off baby!

SHINee!!!

okay on the topic of SHINee!

Key cant sing but is good at rapping and i love his attitude

Minho is actually better at singing than Key and is a great rapper and very athletic but i dont like his attitude

Taemin... can only dance is very cute... im sry i dont rly like him

then theres Jonghyun and Onew!

OMG i love those 2 SO MUCH! when i hear them singing its like im having an orgasm they're so good!

i can't pick who i love more!

at 1st i loved Jjong

then i loved Onew and it stayed that way for a while

but then i heard Jjong sing again and was swept away again then i listen to Onew and im swept away again!!!

Okay i love their passion when they sing, they rly want to show to emotion of the song!

not that im hating on the other members but Key and Taemin have trouble carrying their notes and Minho always has this face that you can tell he's thinking too much about looking good.

Jjong and Onew i love LOVE LOVE them!

Okay when they both sing in korean i LOVE Jonhyuns voice SO MUCH!

but when Onew sings english or chinese etc. i literally fly!  He's so amazing!

then you look at their personalities that are so different but i LOVE THEM BOTH!

cute, smart, dorky, perfect, Onew!  then sexy older leader shi! ^^

cute, boyish, hansome, amazing Jonghyun! our dynamic lead singer! X3

gooosh

i picked Onew for a while because he is totally everything im looking for in a husband/boyfriend/lover. XD

but

Jonghyun gosh i love love love him!  and sometimes when i say i love Onew the most i feel something weird but when i say i love Jonghyun the most i dont have that weird feeling but i feel a bit confused!

its soooooo.... uuugh i cant pick my SHINee bias!!!!

gaaawwwww!!!

these 2!!!!!

________

I felt like i needed a break from being a super depressed Cassie and if i go to Suju right now i would still b super depressed because... its depressing to see those ppl who are gone :'( so SHINee is always my little break group where i go to to relax

i dont claim to be a Shawol at all but i do love and appreciate them just like SNSD, Big Bang, 2NE1 and all those other groups!

^^

anyways Jonghyun or Onew! i can't choose!

okay ive found out too much and now im double posting in 1 day! aah!

TT^TT
TT^TT
TT^TT
TT^TT
TT^TT
TT^TT

crying crying crying forever!

okay 1st off i need to spazz about G-Dragon getting a dragon ball tattoo! omgsun!  Did Jaejoong tell you to get that?! jiyoung and Jae both love dragonball.... last time jae was all 'collecting the 'in heaven albums, somehow it feels like collecting dragonballs' aaahhh these 2! TT^TT

what worries me the most is that Jae's gonna find out and think its so cool and also get 1!

omg DONT JAE DONT!

*sigh*

i love these 2 to death but dang

CALM DOWN WITH THE TATTOOS ALREADY!!!

Yoochun already did bad enough getting what?  His moms face or something like that?! uuuugh omg TT^TT


okay secondly or more importantly than these guys and their rediculous obsession with tattoos

JYJ make me wanna cry

JYJ's interview = perfect example of AKTF

then more than that

Protect the Boss and Poseidon have the same lighting instructor!!!!!

Jaejoong talked to this guy and he said that Jae should go to a poseidon after party!!!

Jae said something like 'idk if Yunho will be there but atleast i would be able to see Choi Siwon.'

CRYING! TT^TT

other things during the interview were things such as

'all 3 of us dreamed about Changmin and Yunho at the same time'

and others like 'we dont contact Changmin and Yunho.  Please let us contact them.'

WTF?! WHY DOES THE WORLD HURT SUCH GOOD PEOPLE?!

reminds me of when JYJ 1st left SME and no SME person was allowed to contact them so Hyukjae went to a public phone and was seen crying.  all i can say is, Hyuksu have such a great bond TT^TT

then there was hankyuk who says that he trys to contact his members but can never reach them.  Leetuk said he was lying!!!!

and now remember that time Yunho said he didnt recieve anything from Jaejoong but Jaejoong revealed that he did try to contact him and that he would send one right now again and that Yunho should see it and respond back.

omgsun!


but most of all i hope Yunho and Changmin are all right....

the way they act... it doesnt SEEM like they miss JYJ as much as JYJ miss them...

but

we have to remember they arent free to say what they want.

*sigh*

i just want to add

the tweet about Junsu and Yoochun singing hug and forever love almost in tears is so sad. 'i watched the sun set and it looked so sad.' thats what i remember of the last part

then the rumor A-Nation staff spread about Changmin crying after Jae's 'i miss you' tweet

then idk! but gosh! the world is wrong!

what the heck?!

these 5 worked SO HARD they were so SINCERE and WONDERFUL and have been nothing but KIND and CONSIDERATE.

They deserve better.

They deserve to be happy.

they deserve to be able to be together.

they deserve to be free.

AKTF goodnight!

gaawwd

i think ive already said this but dang
shinee are so skinny and tired looking and yeah they need a good break

moving on

DBSK5ness all around the world! everywhere! well okay not rly but JYJ just had an interview and Jaejoong was all 'we are dbsk' 'jyj is from dbsk' 'we are still members of dbsk' etc.

i read some stupid comments (which makes me wonder why i follow a JYJ only site...) that 'oh ppl are gonna misunderstand him' and all that

those fans i think ive already said this too but those fans... are so STUPID!

wth?!

Jaejoong says straight out, Yoochun says straight out, Junsu says straight out, we are members of DBSK, we love Yunho and Changmin, we want to be with them, we miss them, etc.

and these JYJ only fans piss me off because they care more about keeping their own little JYJ world instead of listening to JYJ and accepting that the 5 of them love each other and want to be together!

gosh...

piss me off...

Homin only fans piss me off too but they're even MORE scary than JYJ only fans.

Homin fans get SUPER offended right off the bat when you mention JYJ

but JYJ fans think theyre all that and SAS you when you mention Homin

these guys rly piss me off and i HATE how most of them consider themselves to be Cassiopeia!

Cassiopeia is for all 5 members!

Homin only fans why do u think that Changmin picked that name? huh?! did he pick it because there are 2 stars?! no! There are 5 stars in Cassiopeia! 5! i don't think i can be any clearer than this!!!!!!

JYJ only fans who are all 'orion!' and 'oh JYJ just havent made up their own fanclub!' omg its been what? 2 almost 3 years now and JYJ have not ONCE acknowledged 'Orion' as their fanclub or made up their own fanclub!  You know why?! BECAUSE THEY ARE STILL DBSK MEMBERS AND ONLY WANT CASSIOPEIA!

There are still 5 members in DBSK.


k next rant will be JYJ and Music Bank

yeah every1 knew that they wouldnt be able to go on...

KBS i hate you.  With a fiery hate! Ugh!

I even heard about it.

'Oh Super Junior's 'Acha' should have won Kara's 'Step' wasn't even that good'

okay 1st off!

i do agree that i support Suju more than Kara BUT the vote was very close and only off by about 100 or so votes.

Kara works hard too!

i then feel that if Kara and Suju weren't DBSK's friends i WOULD hate them and i feel bad about this...

BUT i think its a detestable thing that Kara was like 'omg we won!' *cry cry*

okay

they KNOW JYJ are being blocked, that JYJ should have that award, but they still stand up there like that with no shame!

I want my JYJ up there too!  JYJ deserve that award more!  That is JYJ's award!  How can you act like you're so happy you won and all that jazz when you KNOW it should be JYJ's award?!

*deep breaths*

but i guess like i said b4 since JYJ are banned Super Junior was thought to be the clear winner and Kara i guess didnt rly think they would get the award but did...

and when i think about it my DBSK boys have won TONS of this award so i shouldnt be so bent on this...

but i can't help these feelings

i am

mad

i can't say i'm not because i AM mad that JYJ aren't getting what they DESERVE.

and if there is anything that i want for my boys...

nevermind

i think my boys deserve the world

and i know they are shooting stars, another day will come when the sun will shine in their favor once more.

just....

stay strong JYJ!

DBSK stay strong!

okay

*sigh*
its almost 3 years now...
its almost 8 years now...
its got me thinking will i be a fool that waits for dbsk another year?
what about the year after that?
and after that?

as of now i think 'definetly'

but...

i do feel the fatigue that many older Cassiopeia felt and do feel now...

the tiredness...

i love you...
i need you...
i long to be with you...
i long for you to be together...
i long for what once was...
i long for what i hope will be...

will i wait forever?

as of now 'definetly' is still what i will say but

my heart...

everyone has doubts...

we have our weaker days and stronger days...

but i dont think that such days will render my faith from them...

i hope and pray for their happiness...

please be happy...

_______________

on another note
Yunjae yunjae yunjae ive been into them alot lately again so much and dbsk5 like i said b4

then my bdays coming up like i said and yeah the biggest thing i hope to get is JYJ in heaven CD...
i want to go to new york and go to TVXQ concert! TT^TT

*sob sob*

oh yeah

Jaejoongs protect the boss is over he did a good job

then something else recently KBS stated that JYJ's song 'Pierriot' is unsuited for radio because it mentions Lee Su Man...

okay the lyrics are DEFINETLY AIMED AT SM AND THE HORRIBLE COMPANY AND LSM

BUT

how can they interpret certain words to mean lsm? 

like jaejoong responded 'its all how people interpret the song' or something to that effect.

i mean 'your truly a psm'

i never understood those lyrics but psm doesnt necessarily mean 'president su man'

they never gave JYJ any chance to explain what it means plus even of psm means 'president su man' korea is a free country and stuff right?!

it should STILL be allowed to be broadcasted!!!!!

what bs is this?!

but then i realized this isnt the 1st time korean govt stood up against free minds.  i mean hellooo? Epik high much?

anyways thats all i really have to say and its late so yeah whatever im done

i'm in a Yunjae AKTF5 mood TT^TT

its been a while since ive been this depressed about Yunjae and AKTF5

i think its because of In Heaven and Tone...

and the Yunjae in heaven music video! i srsly felt like CRYING after watching that! TT^TT

DBSK please come back please please PLEASE!  atleast before you go to the army for two years! come back for atleast a while PLEASE! TT^TT

i feel so bad srsly

i keep thinking about how if Yunho died Jaejoong will die and then Yoochun leaving Junsu and Changmin for a while until finally Junsu dies leaving Changmin all alone and then he just gives in and dies too! omg! wtf is srong with me! then after that there will be a mass suicide of Cassiopeia! TT^TT

This cannot happen!  You guys CANNOT die like this!!!! i wont allow it! DO YOU HEAR ME?! i WONT! ...TT^TT

im not even making sense! i should be happy right now since JYJ and Homin are promoting and all these AKTF rumors the AKTF fortunetellings and all that happening right now but...

I want Yunjae right NOW! i cant help it! its like Yunjaes a drug and i cant stop! i want them to be happy and together and i want DBSK to be happy and together and i want them to smile on the stage where they belong and watching us Cassiopeia, not crying of joy, but laughing and having fun together...

srsly the first DBSK reunion concert ALL of Casssiopeia will cry with joy.  I will personally CRY just thinking about it right now!  I cant even describe how much i love them and hope for them!

I hurt so bad!

but its been so long since ive last felt like this

i was just starting to think i was okay with the split 'im happy as long as theyre happy'

but its true that 'how can they be happy if what makes them the most happy is to be together?'

TT^TT

the truth is in both sides you can FEEL that they miss each other.  Maybe if you've never felt their hearts together, never heard them sing their hearts out together, never watched their old videos of them together, never knew what they, the 5, have been through as members of DBSK together for so long, working so hard together, maybe if you've never promised in your heart that you want to be there for them when they fall, that you promised in your heart every time you heard DBSK say 'forever' that you WOULD be there forever for them, if you haven't been through all that then MAYBE you wouldnt be able to understand my feelings or the feelings of Cassiopeia who YEARN for their return.

THEY are EVERYTHING

i cant stop these feelings flowing out of me, the thought of them being unhappy, and me helpless to do anything!

My final thoughts are , 'be happy be happy'

You better be happy!

i wanted to do a sane report about stuff but... my feelings about this are more important right now so who cares about all that stuff... well BE HAPPY

I will keep on living knowing that these 5 have the courage to also keep on living and moving step by step everyday no matter how difficult the road is.

heechuuul

the suju booys! aaah! i love them and gosh Heechul-ah! i KNOW its not such a big deal or whatever but DANG i will miss you!!! things like 'i will come back a changed man' or whatever i dont want that! i want heechul!!! HEECHUL that doesnt change! i just.... i know people and things change but i dont want the to i want heechul to always be this way i dont want him to change!

thats just...

im scared!

but no matter what i love you heechul-ah! your heart for suju and dbsk! your heart for knowing whats right and wrong! SARANGHAE! I LOVE YOU!

at the very start i really didnt like you but now i SEE you are so YOU.  You are someone so SPECIAL. 

Heechul-aaahhhh!!! work hard! we love you! and im not even an ELF but I WILL WAIT FOR YOU! for my suju boys and my dbsk boys ill wait...

I Prom15e To 13elieve and Always Keep The Faith!

love you guys! really... omg heechul -ah! i love you and your like twice my age... lol love you guys

jyj quotes

YC: We love you very much, we are so thankful. We want to be together with you. Jaejoong~
JJ: Everyone. Really… Ah, I am so embarrassed that I cannot let out the words easily… but I feel that I wasn’t able to say the words “I love you” very much. Everyone—we are always so thankful and we love you very much. We feel that with the strength you give we will be able to try even harder. More and more… and please, love us—even more.

JS: You guys are like… I cannot exchange you even for my life, a kind of… always…
YC: Of course you cannot exchange them.
JJ: Cannot exchange them? It is that they are people that you would exchange WITH your life. Ha ha ha!!
YC: Cannot exchange them, cannot exchange them.
JJ: Wow, really…
JS: To the degree that I would exchange my life for you, I love you guys…

...

my computer died so im sneaking onto my moms... i just want to say even without my computer and all that i realized i cant stop thinking about my dbsk boys...

i really love them so much

i miss them together so much

its something i think i will live with forever

and when i say forever i mean FOREVER

i still cant get over how attached i am to them

i love them SO MUCH

its sad really




well all i have to say now is

Heechul i will miss you so SO MUCH

even though i dont really pay much attention to suju i dont know suju without Heechul... neways the army better take care of you! TT^TT

then poor Henry... Chinese OT13 fans are so mean being silent when hes around... you can do it Henry! hes such a good guy.  i just hope he can get through all the hate


and SHINee

ive been kinda ignoring them since they debuted in Japan

im not proud of it but i saw a live of them recently and all i can say is im so worried for them...

Jonghyun Onew and Taemin looked SO TIRED

that means Jjong and Onew DIDNT sing perfectly! i was shocked.  they are always perfect live those 2... they must be tired as HELL.

I hope they're okay and that they take it easy.  I'm more worried for them than i am for my 2 bias groups DBSK and Suju!

i mean in DBSK and Suju yknow we got some complainers and drinkers and lets have funners and they keep the group alive yknow?  by complaining and disobeying

thats how they EAT thats how they relieve STRESS

but the SHINee boys... theyre different

every single one of them is a 'good boy'

they'll obey whatever rules that SM lay out for them so

i worry for them more...

Suju and DBSK boys can watch over them sometimes but yknow not all the time...

i even heard Onew has fainted like 5 times!

please be okay my SM boys! TT^TT

why did i have to fall in love with all the SME boys?

neways no more time! bye!

the dbsk boys

okay to get this off my chest again Jaejoong shows us that he knows what we're thinking and going crazy over

well Jaejoong just had his kiss in 'protect the boss' so everyone must be going crazy and seething with jealousy and what not. (i thought i would be too but dang he looked so SOO sexy kissing her i didnt mind all i could think was that he was a DAMN good kisser)

well on twitter he wrote for us to calm down and in reply to one of his friends he wrote 'its just business...'

like he said ITS JUST BUSINESS some Cassiopeia gotta grow up

Jaejoongs a grown man now and us getting all prissy just because he kissed someone isnt gonna help anything

I want Jaejoong to find love someday (even if its not with Yunho) i want him to, and WE are just standing in his way

your gonna feel bad when hes like 40 years old and still isnt married or anything because of you! so please back off! ;-_-

then omg Junsu and Yoochun looked soo handsome during the AIDS conference.  theyre ambassadors or something.  Such a good cause! <3 plus dang i loved watching the videos of them cause there were SO MANY CAMERA FLASHES! it was crazy! i wouldve thought something was wrong with the video or something if i didnt know any better!  but the boys were natural and everything just like always! true professionals! ^^

Oh! and omg this may be the HAPPIEST and SADDEST news for me!

in october Kpop stars are having a concert in New York to promote Kpop as, you know, Hallyu wave stars.  well TVXQ (homin) are on the list!  I was FREAKING OUT when i heard!  Plus its a FREE concert! but then i realized that i definetly wont be able to go and i was all... TT^TT

woe is me! omg such a great thing and i cant go! i can never go! i dont have any money and when im old enough to have money then i probably would be too busy to go!  Why is the world like this?! TT^TT

this is like the most depressing fact in the world.  TVXQ have a great concert in October! TT^TT what sucks the most is that my birthday's in October but i would pass up ANY birthday present to go to this concert! TT^TT 

the insight

i was tumbling and came upon this
http://kimjaejung.tumblr.com/post/8995733195/an-insight-to-what-might-happen-to-homin-in-sme

insight from a chinese fan

i do agree, SME's just using DBSK's popularity to make other groups popular then they're gonna dump DBSK .

i really hate SME seriously.

Super Junior's going through similarities

http://kpopsecrets.tumblr.com/post/8773178708/super-juniors-mr-simple

the last 3 music videos 'sorry sorry' 'bonanama' and now 'mr.simple' all these mv's take place in a freaking box... its like they're telling us 'we (sme) are not going to spend anymore money on these guys'

it really pisses me off!

how could they do this to them?! wtf?! TT^TT

it's true what SME does they push you till you break or almost break and then after they just throw you away!

repeat 'look at what happened to H.O.T.' this just makes me feel like going crazy! DX

and yes its obvious that these guys (who are still in SME) are not being treated any better than they were before JYJ's lawsuit!

________

on a different note.  you've all seen the teasers of JYJ's MV ;D JYJ are planning for a new album.

and you know what they said 'if JYJ come out with a new album and it's popular (or whatever) then we'll let them on the show' that's what they said! i think it was KBS? Music Bank? but thats definetly what they said.

now we all should know that thye're trying to hinder JYJ from producing/making an album (those backhanded bastards) but we all know JYJ's strong and when they make their album and it comes out then the broadcasters HAVE to let them on.

i think Jaejoong knows this and he's taunting them.

Jaejoongs 'protect the boss' you know?  on twitter he says 'if you watch it i'll post a funny selca of me!'
and then he puts it up and goes 'a promise is a promise' and he keeps doing this and going 'promises are meant to be kept' and all i can think about is how he's taunting these guys like 'you guys promiiised ;D'

believe it or dont i dont care i just think Jaejoong's smart enough do that and that he doesnt do things coinsidentally.

i still think Jae pays the most attention to us.  He watches us.  He's probably a part of almost all of DBSK/JYJ's fancafe's or fanclubs.

anyways, he knows whats up and he knows what we're thinking.

there was the 'Wasurenaide' time where he tweeted 'this song is for DBSK as 5 members only' but take note that he also wrote 'this is not necessarily my opinion but im writing the opinion of what many others feel'.  He knew how we felt.  exactly how we felt.  we hold on so strongly to DBSK5 songs us Cassiopeia.  We cannot help it.  So if ever anyone but DBSK sings it then it will be many many years from now and WITH DBSK's approval.

there's also 'JYJ from DBSK' and 'Always keep the faith'  everyones all 'its interpretted as this its interpretted as that' but seriously Jaejoong knows how we would interpret it okay?  He knows that everyone will interpret it the way they interpret it and that it has slightly different meaning for everyone.  Most of all he knows what it means to HIM.  Its not to show to us but to remind HIMSELF. 

then ill just add one more example.
Jeju island.  Many JYJ fans were like 'i wont ever go to Jeju again! i dont trust you guys! how dare you do that to JYJ!' but then Jaejoong put up Jeju as his twitter pic.  Do you really think not ever going to Jeju is going to make Jaejoong happy?  He still wants to promote it.  He still wants you to go.  It's like he was responding to all those anti-jeju fans at once on where his stance was.

I'm sory but i read a diary or something that thought Jaejoong was just some cute dumb guy.  this isnt true.  He knows what hes doing and hes never stepped out of place.  He goes the right way at the right time.  I think he's actually very smart. 

Jaejoong, the 4 dimensional person.  people wonder is the loud one the real him?  is the quiet one the real him?  Is the really nice bright motherly one the real him?  Is the smoking drinking tattoo obsessed guy the real him?

the truth is Jaejoong is whoever he wants to be.  When he's at ease with his members he can become loud, when somethings on his mind he could just be in the corner thinking to himself.  He's all these things.  It's uniquelly Jaejoong.  I think thats why he interests me so much.  He's different from everyone else.  No matter what he's hard to grasp.  water comes to mind.

but it keeps me interested.  the things he does are always unexpected and when i think about it he always picks 'the right move' or MAKES the move he makes 'the right move'.  He's so interesting really, and im rooting for him and watching his every move with great interest.  Because he's great.  He's smart and i know he'll make it to whatever destination it may be.

ost

jyj have amazing ost's omg.  jaejoongs ost for protect the boss just came out.
1 word description = brilliant

i mean if theres some award for best ost of the year one of the jyj boys will get the award.  its certain.  lol

yoochuns ost i was like AAAH
then jusus i was like OMGG
and now jaejoong and im all KYAA

XD

theyre amazing

just amazing.

jyj i feel so impressed!

if there is a 2 word description for my dbsk members it would be 'MUSICAL GENIOUS'

fighting! <3

i am so bipolar thanks to dbsk TT^TT

"Here are TVXQ, puppets made of lies, but they are able to be by our side.
Here are TVXQ, bluebirds of truth, but they are unable to be by our side.


Which TVXQ do you want?"

These were the first words that i read when i opened yet another old Cassiopeia letter...

the first thoughts
GOD I HATE THEM
I HATE DBSK
i hate how much im hurt by them
i hate how much my heart is effected by them
i hate them for making me love them so much

homin "puppets made of lies"
and
jyj "blue birds of truth"

homin, you guys, why are you puting up with SME?
why are you guys still there?!

i SCREAM in my head at them.

but the answer is simple FOR US.
"puppets made of lies, but they are able to be by our side."
by staying, by obeying they were able to stay by us.  be shown to us and entertain us.  its all for us.
and i think in my head I HATE IT I HATE IT! stop doing this to yourselves!

do you think that this type of selfless act makes us happy?  that we like to see you so much that we would think its okay if you suffer?

i want you to be happy.  happy.  BE HAPPY!  BE SELFISH! please please PLEASE.

then theres

jyj you guys left sme.
"bluebirds of truth, but they are unable to be by our side."
you knew that because of the lawsuit you might not be able to be stars anymore.  that you might leave us.  but you still filed the lawsuit.  you still did.  you weighed us against your own freedom and your freedom won against us.
SELFISH.  you didnt think about us.  you thought about yourselves.  you knew we might be stripped from you and yet you left.


and then my reaction was
THANK YOU

i love you 5 so much that logic doesnt even make sense
all i see are 5 guys that i love so much trying to make the right decisions in their lives

homin
THANK YOU for sacrificing even now for us.  staying in SME even just to keep us happy even just to keep the name alive... you know, i want you to know IT MEANS SO MUCH TO US.  THANK YOU.  no matter how much i agree or disagree with your decision, you thought it was the best decision for you and i see why so THANK YOU.

jyj
THANK YOU after 7 years of suffering you finally came out and said 'enough!' you spoke out when others were scared.  you stood up for yourselves.  THANK YOU.  by standing up for yourselves you stood up for so many others and also for people in future generations of kpop.  THANK YOU. no matter how much i agree or disagree with your decision, you thought it was the best decision for you and i see why so THANK YOU.

i love them so much and i see that on both sides there was a degree of what each were willing to give up and what each were willing to give.  both sides have such good morals.  they really tried their best to do whats right.  they really tried their best.  and DBSK being a group that have every member from different backgrounds with different points of view, of course they would have different values too.

you can judge one side or the other all you want for their decisions but it all comes down to this.
each and every one of them stood up for what they believe.  each and every one.  no one is a small child that knows nothing.  they are all smart men who are able to think for themselves. 

i love them all so much.  I LOVE THEM.

all i want to say now is that its not that all this is my opinion rather i want to say that i want to see everything from all the angles possible. 

i dont want to make up delusions based on delusions but think about what have ACTUALLY been said or shown.

okay rant time now so dont read this part if you can help it

i read somewhere about changmin wanting yunho for himself thats why he forced yunho to stay...

i think thats bull

this is all based on what you think and no actual facts or even idk bodily suggestions to this so im sorry...

im a major major yunjae fanatic but im not one of those 'oh yunjae broke up thats why dbsk broke up' people either

i think thats rediculous, i mean think about it, dbsks bonds so weak that a break up would break up all of dbsk? oh please...

you know what i think?

i think the problem happened between yunho and yoochun

during the 2008 awards where changmin cried i really thought they were gonna group hug but yunhos arms were around changmin and jaejoong and he steered them away from yoochun.  yoochun and yunho also showed basically no acknowledgement toward each other that day it was weird.  cause you know, all the dbsk members are close to each other.

and also yoochuns untitled song he wrote all the problems out right.  bam.  those were the problems.  it was just sme.

i think yoochun, since he drinks with jae he told jae about his unhappiness and insecurities and about how he knows now that they're being treated unfairly.  jae agrees and they confer with the rest of dbsk.

yunho disagrees, his family is like a justice force family you know?  before dbsk debuted his father looked over his contract.  him and his father already knew about all the bad stuff, but back then they had threatened to replace yunho so yunho and his dad decided just to take the 13 year contract.  yunho knew and knows its unfair but, because he is jung yunho he honors his promises and his contracts.  he will not leave.  his father agrees with him.  theres a quote from him about it something like 'an illegal contract is still a contract' or something.

well changmin agrees with yunho but junsu wants to go with yoochun and jaejoong because 'if anyone leaves dbsk i will not be in dbsk anymore' he has said that once before right?

thats around when the arguement hits its peak.  they cannot reach an agreement.  they start moving around at the airport as jyj and homin and you can feel the split energy.

then you know the rest...

i think the heat only lasted a little bit tho because no matter how big a fight dbsk get in they always 'settle it over a drink' like jaejoong has said...

i think its totally true that dbsk meet each other.  Havent you heard of all those celebs that converse but they cant make it public because they're in different companies?  well now it must be kept EVEN MORE SECRET than that because of SME.  so of course we dont know. 

but really now Cassiopeia gets the hints

those pics with yunho and changmin with a dog that looks ALOT like yoochuns and then yoochun puts up a pic of his dog as his twitter pic.

and jaejoong posting up 'i got the cool guys sunglasses' and then yunhos not wearing the sunglasses around anymore just proves to me that the pic really is yunhos sunglasses.

cassiopeia gets the hints.  they've made up.

they want to be together, theyve said it many times super bluntly, but circumstances being what they are they cant. not yet.  but soon.

they'll be back.  dont worry.  im so certain of this really.  theres no need to worry.

dbsk i love you! <3

ah kyaaa!!!

i just watched the video of yunhos and changmins dance rehersal!
they looked soooo sxy for realz nooowwwwww!!!! (ok ok deep breaths)
1st off lets talk about how sexy changmin looked in the video, he's really all grown up! ah! so HANDSOME!
then yunho... SFSDFASTAWFA wow i forgot how sexy guys wearing idk gym clothes looks. especially on yunho! he looks soo good in those oversized clothes like so aaahh XD
plus his face is SO SMALL! its like rediculous!
all in all super super handsome!
then they danced REALLY well! ah kya! as expected from our homin!

BUT

minnies hand was in a cast! i wonder how long ago this vid was? :'(
i was watching his hand like half of the video and i think yunho accidentally hit it and in my crazy mother hen way i was like ASDFGSDER YUNHO! WATCH WHERE YOUR GOING!!
lol but it was an accident and changmin didnt even look hurt so idk whats wrong with me haha XD

im too overprotective of all the dbsk members even from each other haha!

anyways success to you both!

protect the boss! and otherness...

okay 1st off im gonna rant about how freakin great junsu was in 'scent of a woman'! he was great! and the person that wrote his lines obviously was a junsu fan him/herself! junsu's acting was SO refreshing and of course even with all the drama and what not junsus easygoing happy aura controlled everything :)

okay now yoochun! hooraaaay!!!! apparently he got some award or something for best idol turned actor.  i shouldnt be surprised but for some reason im always caught off guard when chunnie gets such aweome acting things! then after im all 'of course yoochun got it! hes great! of course!'. in actual fact i think he really is a great actor and (opinionation!) i think he's the best actor in DBSK.  so yoochun u are jjang! i really think hes the best!

Jaejoongs drama 'protect the boss' is doing great also! woohoo! <3

now if you dont want to hear this part dont read it! omg very opinionated!

Jaejoongs makeup person or whoevers in charge wrote a letter or something to us Cassiopeia regarding all our complaints and such.

secretly ive been thinking the same thing as the people hes been addressing.  He looks not himself and kinda weirdish... older and not as perfect as normal?

well im relieved to read that the makeup person the light people and basically everyone around jae is trying to make him look less like an idol, make him look older and more... normal human being like (because apparently jaejoong is too godly ;D )

apparently Cassiopeias a bit mad about this?

im kinda opposite.  The people are helping jae blend in with the drama.  the people love jaejoong and want everyone to focus on his amazing acting rather than his godly looks.  i think thats great actually.  i hadnt thought about it but jaejoong really needs to change his looks according to his character hes playing.  he doesnt want to be like an 'idol actor' that looks perfect all the time in the drama.  He's gonna be a serious actor that doesnt look like he dropped out of heaven.  plus, Jaejoong knows that they are doing this, its not like they're forcing him to be ugly but theyre helping him be the character so Cassiopeia please chillax.

Jaejoong and his staff know what they're doing and Jaejoong doesnt need you to be all prissy cause he doesnt look like his perfect self on screen.

just watch the way hes acting.  take not that they put on makeup that tones down his incredibly perfect pale skin.  that they put him in certain outfits to make him look older.  Jaejoong and the dude hes acting against is apparently 10 years older than Jae.  of course jae needs to look older if in the drama they're the same age.

dont worry Cassiopeia this faze where his hair doesnt look perfectly combed and hes not wearing any accesories is only temporary.  Jaejoongs still jaejoong.

quite thinking about his looks and think about his acting.  he still looks good acting as Cha Muwon doesnt he?

serving the army

okay this goes all the way around super junior and back to dbsk u cant talk about 1 without the other rly

1st off i wanna say Shinhwa hyungs, they give me so much HOPE and them and their fandom are so strong, they give me hope for my DBSK boys and i hope their comeback from the army is HUGE!

okay now, Leetuk and Heechul are gonna be in the army next year! 2012! ....i wanna cry! its not like i want them to skip cause that wouldn't be very fair to the rest of korea but... "the 2 pillars of suju" heechul said something like that once and i do believe that...

i just... suju is so fragile, right now, suju is so fragile... i hope that this feeling of 'disbandment is approaching' isnt true cause suju is suju... i mean... yeah TT^TT

thats why i hope 'Mr.Simple' will be a BIG thing.  Something great and big for those loyal ELFs and for all those kind super junior boys! please please please!

okay then thinking about the army i start to remember about Yoochun.  As you may or may not know he gave up his American citizenship because he couldnt visit America enough.

But in an interview he once said "going to the army with everyone (dbsk members) will be fun!"

and it makes me teary eyed because

1) Yoochun is so kind he gave up his American Citizenship because he couldnt visit the US enough, and think about it, it would just hinder DBSK's activities, so he just gave it up like it was nothing for the sake of DBSK...
2) He talked about going to serve with the DBSK members as if they were all going together... as a younger guy he was already thinking about his brothers (the dbsk boys) and him in the future and about when they will go and he didnt want any special treatment that being said he would gladly go serve with his brothers.  He is so kind and considerate of our DBSK5 for real now just think about this really its so kind...

SO it got me to thinking

Jaejoong and Yunho will enlist 1st
if Yunho enlists wouldnt Changmin want to enlist also?
if Jaejoong enlists Yoochun would definetly enlist also at the same time and Junsu would definetly follow right?

i hope they serve together.

but then that means like 22 months without ANY of our DBSK members...

idk if i want that...idk if SME wants that and if ANYTHING they might want to keep Changmin until he HAS to go right? so that means they cant go together...

then theres Yoochuns health... as you may or may not know all those diseases hes been getting from malnutrition and stress... would he even be healthy enough to go?  then i feel bad becuase he would hate himself for not being able to go with his brothers, so even though i dont want him (or any of them) to go IF they go i dont want Yoochun to feel like this, left behind like some fragile person....

i really hope DBSK can go together that they can have this time together really...

but thats just my thoughts

anyways all this is really too real.  If they could i wish that they wouldnt have to enlist at all.  I wish we lived in a world where i didnt have to send my favorite boys off to the military.  they are so precious.  Gods gift to us.  So really i wish they wouldnt have to go.

and Jaejoong and Yunho are 27 now... so the time is nearing for them... TT^TT

henry lau

henry lau is SUCH A NICE GUY! hes in america right now and super junior just started promoting 'mr.simple' and his tweets... omg
"im feeling very" "very" "SIMPLE TODAY! they killed it! sdgsdfkaawe! WOOHOO!" "mixed emotions at times like this... never the less im so proud!!!!! miss them all. so happy."
omg its not exact but GAWD! henry im crying for you right now! TT^TT
your so GOOD gaaawwwwwwww!!!

okay okay so much to say so little time...

1st off
i was so wrong about yunho and his ice skating.  i just watched his latest the star wars 1.  it was awesome.  HE was awesome, and i feel SO PROUD of him because i know he worked so hard. TT^TT
then
im having henry lau fever.  hes so dang cute.  I started following him on twitter and i read some of his tweets.  Hes so dang cute! i swear! right now it seems hes in New York for some reason?
Well super junior are having their comeback so those die hard 13 forever elfs should be happy i guess
anyways what i really feel is that ELFs have been so kind and supportive really a great fandom (ahem even though im a cassie even i can see this) and i really hope they get a very big and awesome comeback before leetuk and heechul go off to the army.
then Yunho and Changmin sing for a-nation. they sang the songs that all 5 would sing and the one that stood out the most in my head 'stand by you'.  idk i just felt like crying.  my 1st reaction was 'how dare you?!' but then i calmed down.  theres nothing these 2 can do if their told to sing the song and also its been a long time since its been sung.  i have to say 5 is better but they were fine.  they did fine and i still love them and support them.
then jaejoongs tweet killing everyone again.
something like 'im going to sleep.  heres the cool guys sunglasses.'
and obviously 1 of the sunglasses is the one that yunho always always wears at the airport.
then a-nation lady has to kill us again saying that yunho and changmin read tweets and that she heard that changmin cried after reading it a few days ago (the 1 about yun and min being his members).
omg aktf man! TT^TT
the world is crazy!
i hope every1 is becoming healthier and watching out for eachother and themselves.
okay so heres my prayer for today

dear god,
please watch over everyone that i love, so that they will be happy and healthy and live on for many more years to come.
please help super junior with their comeback and allow them to hit it big.  let the elfs feel this great big blow of pride as they watch super junior win a big award please.  i dont even have elf friends and i feel that they really deserve this.
then please help my dbsk boys.  help them not work to hard that it hurts them.  help them when they do work too hard.  let them be surrounded by people that love them and will care for them always.  and please guide them on their paths so that they wont have to suffer anymore than they already have.
please, if you can allow them to one day grace us with a stage where all of them can smile genuinly as they look upon us Cassiopeia as 5 again.
amen

Jaejoong just tweeted about all his members and i feel like crying again

If you haven't read it, or dont follow them you should... they really write important stuff...
well here it, what Jae wrote...

Junsu is always the first among the members to wake up. Among the tired members, the first to do his hair, make up and the first to do his shoot. He has been like this for 8 years. Junsu's sincerity is what brought us here and I've come to emulate Junsu as a colleague and friend. There are a lot of lifelong lessons to be learned from Junsu. –Jaejoong (twitter, July 25, 2011)

Yoochun who is always impartial. He is always in the middle watching over everyone. That's why the members do not have such thoughts that we're alone. During difficult times, he shares his free spirit with everyone and makes us feel secure. –Jaejoong (twitter, July 25, 2011)

Junsu and Yoochun who makes me think that..I must try harder..you both are greedy uhuhut! –Jaejoong (twitter, July 25, 2011)

I don't know if I can say this but..I miss Yunho and Changmin as well..They are our members no matter what other people say and they are the guys who know it best more than anyone else..though I'm not sure whether I'm being pointlessly silly but..I miss them after a long time. –Jaejoong (twitter, July 25, 2011)

(at) mjjeje (Jaejoong) | Hyung, do you know?? That in this world, there's no other person like you...??^^ -Junsu (twitter, July 25, 2011)

(at) 0101xiahtic (Junsu)| I think I can do without a girlfriend^^ Yesterday while we were shooting, after a long time - I felt that it is enough just having you guys^^ㅎ You've given me so much strength, Junsu-yah^^ We're in this together for a lifetime. Thank you, for being by my side –Jaejoong (twitter, July 25, 2011)

gosh! Jaejoong! TT^TT YES! DBSK is stil 5...
what he said... "They are our members no matter what other people say and they are the guys who know it best more than anyone else" YES they ARE.

i went on JYJ3.net today to see what the news said but...
im sorry im so dissappointed in only JYJ fans and also only Homin fans...
JYJ and Homin feel no hate for eachother but the fans do feel hate.  Hate that is spawned by rumors and misuderstandings...
i read comments like 'please dont misinterpret or read into it too much.'  and all this stuff but WHAT is there to misinterpret? nothing.  He said it straight out.  He said it SO CLEARLY theres no way to misinterpret the message. 

so please JYJ only and Homin only fans... people who have turned from TRUE Cassiopeia that loves them all... please SEE that they dont have the hate, that they only have the love and the hurt that spawns from people hating on their brothers.
JYJ hurt when you bash Homin
Homin hurt when you bash JYJ
because they are still 5 members of DBSK

Jaejoong always understands the fans the best, always understands us, what we r fighting about, what we are thinking, im sure he understands us the best so... thank you

and im not saying the other members care less i just mean Jaejoong pays the most attention and understands the best thats it.

oh!
i know this has nothing to do with anything but there was this famous girl Kim Whitehouse or something that died and they did this whole section about 27 year olds dying and all i could think about was how Jaejoong and Yunho are 27... so i was like 'shut up tv! dont make me think about this!' and yea just wanted to say... i can't imagine anyone in DBSK dying... please take care of yourselves!

on another note! non DBSK related at all!
Henry Lau has a Youtube?! i saw the video of him playing 'Today i dont feel like doing anything'
omg you know how much i LOVE him?!
Super Juniors my second favorite group and if you dont know hes um... theres controversys and stuff but hes definetly in Super Junior M until hes allowed to be in Super Junior (i hope) but gosh hes adorable.
not can he play violin like a pro while DANCING but hes great at piano and guitar!  His singing is also great! of course since he's Canadian his English is great! and yeah he can speak chinese and korean! gosh! and his personality! oh so perfect! hes adorable! 
i know i know DBSK is my life but this boys going places! 
Super Junior fighting! DBSK fighting!
DBSJ fighting!!!!! <333333333333333333

To DBSK

Dear DBSK,
I became a Cassiopeia so late in the game... 2009.  To think that i found you when everything was in chaos.  I have to say i was such a fool.  I knew about DBSK earlier but... i am not the type to like stuff if i know is really popular... so i ignored DBSK.  Back then i liked Big Bang.  I wasn't giving it much thought when i decided that i would try, just TRY, a little bit of DBSK, just a little.  I really fell in love with you.  All that avoiding, it was such a waste.  I wasted so much time TRYING not to like you...
The first member that caught my eye was Jaejoong, then Yunho, Then Changmin, Junsu, then Yoochun.  Before i knew it i was madly in love with all five of you.  I laughed with you and i cried with you.  I listened to DBSK music ALL THE TIME.  I still do.  I love you all so much and i love that you complete each other.  You mesh so well i could hardly imagine the five of you being apart.  You guys are really the total package.  Great singers, great dancers, so funny, so humble, so polite, so childish, just everything.  You really... i feel like i've known you my whole life now...
Thank you for allowing me to love you guys.
During 2009 there was so much talk, during my 1st year... i cried when i found out about the lawsuit.  Me.  A new fan.  I cried as if i were your fan all along.
DBSK was only my second group to love so i thought, if i loved DBSK so much lets see if i could love another as much.
So i watched some Shinee and Super Junior.
I wasn't surprised when i came to the conclusion that i could love none more than DBSK.  They were not DBSK.  You, DBSK, are SO special.  Do you know that?  SO special.
I was cautious still... i called myself a VIP Cassiopeia ELF and Shawol at this time.  As if i loved them all equally.
But as time went on i realized i was a Cassiopeia.  DBSK won.  You were everything.  No one else was above you.  I didn't see anyone but you. 
I love you guys so much.  to the point where i thought 'oh man this is just a stage.  I will get over it'  but i never did and now i realize i never will.  DBSK have become such a big part of my life. 
I even found myself praying for you every night, just asking God to keep you all safe and happy.
You teach me how to be humble. to work hard, to be a good person.  But you also teach me to stand up for myself and not let anything stop me.
DBSK i have learned so much from you.  You don't even know but you definitely have done the same thing for millions of others.
So thank you.
Rest assured that i will always be here waiting for you.  That i will always make time to come check on MY DBSK, 10, 20, 200 years from now.  Even when i get married and have children, a part of me is always thinking about you and waiting for you and watching over you.

Sincerely,
A Cassiopeia

To Jaejoong

Dear Jaejoong,
You are my bias.  i don't even know why but there is something that attracts me to you. 
I tried to rationalize it but you know if i rationalize it in a million ways every single other member gets first place but you?  How strange.  But be clear you are my bias. 
Jaejoong, it seems you are most peoples bias, knowing that, i usually change my bias but with you... it always comes back to you and i've given up trying to change it. 
There is just something about you. 
I listed all the good and bad qualities and to me there are a lot of bad qualities that you have that the other members don't, yet here i am saying 'i love YOU' as my bias. 
Anyways, Jaejoong, i don't know why but my letter is seeming quiet mean even though i like you the most...
Let's start with the good things. 
Jaejoong umma, you really are like the umma, you do take care of everyone in that manner and dote on all of them lovingly.  Thank you for taking care of them. 
Jaejoong, you always care about Cassiopeia.  All the members do but you, you seem to know exactly what Cassiopeia's doing almost all the time, whether it's charity stuff, or even to the extent of knowing the famous fanfictions you know. 
It fills my heart that you pay THAT much attention to us.  That you care THAT much.  Thank you. 
You have always had it hard... i wont repeatedly say all those horrible things that happen to you but i really want to say thank you for getting through it all. 
You are so much more mature now, i can feel it in every new interview.  Your answers, you thought them through by yourself, you also reflect upon them and really every word you say it's so important. 
You have also become more open with us (Cassiopeia). 
When you guys first debuted till now... you are opposite Yoochun in the aspect of crying.  He found the strength not to cry and you found the strength to cry.  But it's okay.  We want you to let it all out and not have to hide. 
You have been doing really well but don't think us fans haven't noticed.  You haven't been sleeping enough, we see the fatigue in your eyes.  You haven't been eating enough, we see how skinny you have become.  We know you've been drinking more and even smoking occasionally.... please take care of yourself.
If not for yourself, for those who love you and cannot imagine their lives without you, please take care of yourself. 
Jaejoong, our lead singer Jaejoong, even though you got into SM with a beauty contest you were put into DBSK because of your singing ability.  Truly a singer. 
Jaejoong who has so many good and so many bad qualities, i wouldn't want a Jaejoong that is any different than this. 
It's the good and the bad it's probably just everything about you that makes you my bias.  But please, please, please watch over yourself.  I know you can do it.  Cassiopeia loves you forever no matter what happens.

Sincerely,
An American Cassiopeia

To Yoochun

Dear Yoochun,
Cassiopeia's emotional sweetheart.  Your voice is undescribably sexy and your personallity is that of a soft hearted lover.  Whenever i think of you i think of piano music in autumn and i get a reminiscing feeling.  When i look back at those older videos i see this soft boy that cried so much. 
You have so much emotion and such a big heart.
 But really your stronger than i think right? 
Before you went to Korea you had many jobs in the states and helped take care of your mother and brother.  You were so brave to go to Korea all by yourself. 
I truly believe that you are strong.  Even if you cried a million tears and missed them so much you still pushed forward with DBSK to create beautiful music for us.  Thank you. 
As time went on you became stronger and your tears became less. 
I feel so proud of you.  As a Cassiopeia i feel proud that you are growing and as i see you now you seem much more put together and stronger. 
I know you know that tears aren't necessarily bad and you are able to hold them in now (most of the time) but I just want to say when you need to cry just cry.  I know Jaejoong and Junsu have been crying alot recently and maybe you feel the need to be the one who is strong? 
Thank you.  Really thank you.  But if ever you feel the need to cry just cry. 
Cassiopeia will protect you.  Always. 
When you are tired, rest.  I don't want to hear that you are sick because of stress and malnutrition.  It hurts so much that i can't help you. 
Please, for the members, for Cassiopeia, please, for yourself, take care of yourself. 
I want you to rest if your tired, i want you to find laughter when your stressed.  I want you to make sure you eat all your meals.  Please watch out for yourself. 
Yoochun, you look weak sometimes but i know you are so strong, with a passion that is undeniable.  Yoochun, Cassiopeia loves you, i love you, the members love you, your family loves you, we all support you no matter what. 
We have your back so please just rest for a while.  I don't want to hear that you are sick because of such causes again.  We are very proud of you and always will be so please get some rest.

Sincerely,
An American Cassiopeia

To Changmin

To Maknae Changmin,
You are so cute.  You are.  Believe it.  Since debut you have always doubted it and i have to say right now.  You are cute. 
Being the youngest must be hard on you, who is the oldest in your family.  You always say that the other members are mean to you or bully you.  They just love you so much that they want to tease you.  Since you are the youngest they especially take care of you.  I dare say they spoil you, the way they all dote on you.  You must hate it.  It's quiet funny. 
But i do see you, when the other members are hurt you may not be the one they turn to but you are always watching and making sure your there for them, and when YOU are hurt you hardly ever burden them with it.  I admire that.
When i heard you talking about becoming an idol, the way you hardly tried but still got in, i was a little skeptical   All your hyungs tried so hard and yet you got in so easily, how unfair, but i think it was fate.
DBSK wouldn't be the same without you. 
Don't ever think 'thing's would be better without me' or any of those types of thoughts. 
DBSK would be totally different if you hadn't joined.  If you had not been playing tennis that day, if that scouting lady had not seen you and given you the paper, if you had not shown your parents, if your mom didn't drag you to auditions....
but all that DID happen, and you became a DBSK member.  A member that we cherish SO MUCH.  The company accepted you because you were SO good at singing, and you ARE.  Your voice just keeps improving and wowing us all. 
Then you danced so well even though you never danced before. 
We all look at you and think of how proud we are of our youngest member. 
We care about you so much.  Cassiopeia wouldn't even be called Cassiopeia if it wasn't for you. 
It was all fate.
I know if you could live again you said you wanted a normal life, I'm sorry you never got to have that normal life that you wanted.  But don't regret joining DBSK and experiencing so much with them. 
Lastly, Changmin i want to say you are very strong and mature, but please listen to your hyungs and don't scratch or push them (especially Yunho *ahem*).  That is my only worry. 
I know after the lawsuit you have been doing all the things Jaejoong and the other members used to do for Yunho, like reminding him to eat, and covering his face when he sleeps on the plane.  I just want to say thank you.  You will always be the super maknae!  Cassiopeia will always watch you and love you!

Sincerely,
An American Cassiopeia

To Junsu

Dear Junsu,
I personally didn't like you at first.  I was such a fool.  When i saw you i thought 'What an ordinary person'.  I couldn't have been more wrong. 
I was SO wrong. 
Junsu, believe me when i say, YOU are the MOST extraordinary person.  Your talent for singing leaves me speechless and in tears,  your soccer skills astound me every time, i even hear your great at video games! 
Then i think someone with SOO MUCH talent should be arrogant also, but that is so wrong.  You are the most humble person.  Your innocence and optimism just makes my heart burst!
I then think such a humble person is probably easily breakable, but again i am so wrong.  You really are THE most strong member.  You have the strongest heart. 
"Junsu is like an oasis in the desert for us"
Jaejoong said that once and now i understand what he meant.  You are like a breath of fresh air, always able to make us smile or see the bright side in any situation. 
"He is like water that isn't tainted by ink"
Changmin was right on the mark but you are like a special kind of water.  Even if a drop of ink falls into you it doesn't taint you at all, the water is still just as clear and crisp. 
You astound me. 
I watch all the other DBSK members make fun of you, but i know and they know that you are such an important part of DBSK.  In dire situations you are always the one who seems to cope the best. 
From 6 long years of training, to allergies, your leg injury and all those other hardships, you have made it through.  You have accomplished so much and i feel that i will scold every single member in their letters except you.  Isn't that strange? 
You have been taking good care of your members, you have been expanding yourself artistically, and most importantly you have been taking care of yourself.  Thank you for being you. 
Do you know that you are the one that makes everyone smile?  Whenever i see you joke around and cause a light atmosphere it makes my heart light too. 
When you smile all of Cassiopeia smiles with you.  So the one thing i want to tell you to do is smile. 
You have been doing a great job of smiling for us, for everyone.  So thank you.  Cassiopeia really loves their cute angel dolphin.  We really love our charismatic singer!

Sincerely,
An American Cassiopeia